Eulogy

Kay was born in Erith Bexley Heath 16th August 1940, her early years were spent in a close knit community with siblings, John, Gillian, Bill and Jo and cousins Tony, Charles and Pat nearby.

Firstly a little about mum:
+ She was a Jayne Austen fan from a young age.
+ She was a Trekkie - she watched the movies, the series and had at least two suitcases full of books that she bought to Bougainville island in the 80s. It appealed to her view that people of different backgrounds could work together to create a better world.
+ She enjoyed classical music, last night of the PROMs and going to Ballet and Opera with Charles. She also like Bonny M and my sister recalls mum dancing with friend Rosemary in the front row to rasputin during a Port Moresby curfew concert.
+ She was enthusiastic about Garlic. She grew it in pots, she had it in food, had it in oil, and had it in supplements. She swore she could not really taste it and approved of medicinal natural ingredients
+ She was passionate about Puzzles and quizzes. These were close to hand, whether on the tv, a crossword book, a board game or on zoom. She liked to keep her clever brain active. 

Mum lived a life full of curiosity, charity and courage.

Curiosity: Mum was curious and a committed learner who did not shy away from trying new things.

In the 1960s she worked in Oxford at a pathology lab and In 1965, aged 25, travelled to US and Canada to work at the Ortho Research Foundation. In 1970 she was accepted as a Fellow at the institute of medical labratory technicians. While in North America, Kay and her sister Jo did a trans-Atlantic drive in a ‘very practical’ muscle car and had adventures along the way including an encounter with a bear.

By the 1970s Kay joined the Volunteer Service Overseas and her first posting was to Sarawak (malayasia) in 1970- 73 training and setting up pathology labs. She travelled extensively to remote places pre the tourism boomed and shared her travel experiences with her family through letters and photographs. Kay’s second VSO posting was to PNG where she met Joel Avera, married in 1975 and in 1976 Lisa, Angie and Amos were born.

In 1978 Kay and family moved to Bougainville island. In the 80s she worked at the local hospital and later set up the lab for the private North Solomons Medical Hospital. She was actively involved in various published research projects through the years including the correlation between hepatitis and liver cancer.

In the 1990s mum was the National Operations Manager at Johnston pharmacy and later at Chemcare. While working she studied and received her MBA from Southern Cross University in 1998. In 2000 she Project Managed and oversaw the construction of the first private hospital in Port Moresby (Pacific international hospital - PIH).

After moving back to the UK in 2001 mum went back to her teaching roots and received her Certificate in Education in 2003 working for Peterborough Regional Collage.

Charity: Mum strove to make charity a part of her everyday.

In Bougainville mum was supportive of the rotary club. She later became involved in the lions club where she was the lioness president for a number of years.

In the 80’s Angie and I joined the ‘Brownies’ and ‘Guides’. Mum became a pack leader and her pack appropriately named her ‘Tawny Owl’. Her keen fundraising enabled a Contingent from PNG to attend a Jamboree in New Zealand (Levin) in January 1988. This was the largest event of this type in over 40 years and thousands of people gathered from around the world. It made quite an impression on all of us. In 1993 mum was asked to join the PNG Girl Guides Executive which she served on for several years.

In the 90’s at Johnston’s Pharmacy, mum ensured the company sponsored charitable causes. One year they sponsored a Miss Johnston’s pharmacy and the fundraising went on overdrive. That year Mum almost had a permanent booking of the main ballroom at the Crown Plaza. I don’t have the exact figure raised for the Red Cross that year but i remember it was enough to buy a house with.

In the 2000s she was active in the Lindens Social Club organising events to bring people together. Mum knitted hundreds of hats and egg warmers for Age concern.

Courage: Mum lived her life with courage, and her faith supported her through tough times.

She was active in the church from a young age following the death of her father. At 21 She became the youngest member of the parish church council at St Paul’s (Bexley).

Mum didn’t follow traditions; she got married in a bright multicoloured paisley dress, she had a family later in life at age 36, she embraced dads culture and family in Eroro (Oro bay) and became a PNG citizen in 1985. She was one of few women running businesses in Papua New Guinea.

The early 1990s was tough for mum; displaced from Bougainville island due to civil war and with Dad unwell for a number of years. Her church community at St Martin’s (Port Moresby) supported her when dad passed away in 1993 and she became a single mother with three dependent children.

Later the same year, mum and Amos on a tight budget, went on an adventure around the islands by cargo ship. Mum wrote letters to my sister and I describing the places she visited and the people on board the ship. Her writing is full of wonder and delight at discovering new places and people.

After living overseas for most of her life, Mum showed strength to leave PNG to move back to the UK to reconnect with family in the UK. It took years to feel settled. Despite decreasing mobility Mum lived independently and travelled when she could. Her trip to Lourdes through Tony and the Greenwich Catholic Fellowship was a highlight. In later years Kay became; a ‘cat mum’ to Lottie, fond of gardening, knitting, star gazing and had plans to return to swimming.

Summary

Mum tried a number of churches in Peterborough before choosing St Marks where she was a regular attendee. Her name will be entered into the memorial book at St Marks.

Mum believed in the transformational power of education, that you could renew and change your life at any point. As a mother, mum made us feel loved even if we were disagreeing, she empowered us to make our own choices and supported our decisions without question.

I am grateful that Mum passed away peacefully and we were able to tell her we love her. Let’s celebrate Kay’s extraordinary life.