2. "You are a wonderful person." 
When we grieve we are not feeling at our best. We do not even feel like ourselves. Remind us of who we are, that we are a good person. Be specific, it helps us reconnect with our lives after the disruption of loss.

3. "Would you like a hug?" 
Touch is such a powerful healing gift. A hand squeeze, a hug, or even just a touch on the arm brings comfort and makes us feel connected.

4. "I can’t imagine what you are going through, this is just awful." 
It is okay to acknowledge the devastation. When someone we care about is suffering our first response is to help point out the silver linings, to say something to brighten the outlook, but the truth is that grief is not pretty or fun and we have to work our way through the pain. But not alone. Let us know that you are right beside us, acknowledging how intense this experience is. It brings such relief to know that we do not have to hide our suffering and have a “stiff upper lip” in front of you.

5. “I understand you may need to take some time, but whatever you need I am here” 
Grief is overwhelming and unpredictable. What we need today may be different from tomorrow. And most likely we do not have the energy to answer questions. So rather than asking what we need, just offer an open invitation that does not require a response. Sometimes just the knowledge that you are there and supportive makes us feel cared for.