Share your stories and memories of Pat in the “Memories and Condolences” and “Photos” tabs to the left. You can make a contribution to the Calliope Joy Foundation to honor Pat by clicking its link just below.
OBITUARY
Share your stories and memories of Pat in the “Memories and Condolences” and “Photos” tabs above.
Patrick Carr — sociologist, musician, avid gardener, loving father and spouse, advocate and fund raiser for childhood disease — died on April 16. 2020 at the age of 53 following a nine year battle with multiple myeloma. He was surrounded by friends and loved ones, including his cherished children: Camille (age 20), PJ (age 16) and Cal... see more
Share your stories and memories of Pat in the “Memories and Condolences” and “Photos” tabs above.
Patrick Carr — sociologist, musician, avid gardener, loving father and spouse, advocate and fund raiser for childhood disease — died on April 16. 2020 at the age of 53 following a nine year battle with multiple myeloma. He was surrounded by friends and loved ones, including his cherished children: Camille (age 20), PJ (age 16) and Cal (age 10) and his wife Maria Kefalas. He was a beloved and energetic teacher, a well-known scholar and valued colleague in the Sociology Department and Criminal Justice Program at Rutgers New Brunswick and prior to that at St. Joseph's University. As co-founder with Maria of the Calliope Joy Foundation, Pat was a champion for children and worked tirelessly to seek a cure for metachromatic leukodystrophy and related disorders. Click here for details of his life and accomplishments.
As many of you learned, during the non-memorial, I have spent many an afternoon playing music, with Pat, at Cal's bedside. Sometimes I was truly there for Cal, sometimes it seemed I was there for Brodie :) But sometimes, I was there for Pat. On days... moreAs many of you learned, during the non-memorial, I have spent many an afternoon playing music, with Pat, at Cal's bedside. Sometimes I was truly there for Cal, sometimes it seemed I was there for Brodie :) But sometimes, I was there for Pat. On days when he was tired he sat next to Cal while I played, or held her in his lap. Some days he was full of energy and we played through song after song. One thing was always true, he made me feel like he was my biggest fan. He made me feel like nothing in the world mattered in that moment except playing music for Cal. Like I was some amazing person for being a music therapist. Imagine, a man as accomplished as him, giving that sincere praise to me! I learned in the non-memorial that he was that way with everyone- just as his mandolin was there only to support my playing (he did not want to take the lead, he wanted to support me and encourage me) so too was he supporting and encouraging those around him in life. We laughed at our mistakes, learned new songs together and shared our traditional music (mine from east coast Canada, his from Ireland). I am dreading the day I return to play for Cal again. It will be so hard. But I am looking forward to being past that hurdle and continuing to play with the spirit that Pat gave in his music! less
Pat was, simply put, a good soul. One short example. I will always remember his kindness after my father passed away. I barely knew him at that time, but he and my wife (Laurie Krivo) were becoming close friends even though it was just the end of her... morePat was, simply put, a good soul. One short example. I will always remember his kindness after my father passed away. I barely knew him at that time, but he and my wife (Laurie Krivo) were becoming close friends even though it was just the end of her first semester at Rutgers. Anyway, we had driven back to Philadelphia from Pittsburgh, with a blizzard nipping at our heels. The next night when we sat shivah (a Jewish mourning ritual) at our house, Pat drove in through the snow from Bala Cynwyd in the suburbs to our Queen Village House in central Philly because he knew that we knew hardly anyone locally who could come. In Yiddish he would be called a mensch, a person of integrity and honor to admire and emulate. Bob Kaufman less