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OBITUARY
On May 15, 2019 Marvin "Pete" Hokom died at the age of 81. The child of Lowell and Bertha Hokom, he grew up on a farm in Nebraska during the Great Depression with his sister Delores and his brothers Robert and Ronald. After attending a one room school house and then Lodgepole High School, he attended Kearney State Teachers College, the University of Colorado, Boulder, and Case Western Reserve, where he studied English, German,... see moreOn May 15, 2019 Marvin "Pete" Hokom died at the age of 81. The child of Lowell and Bertha Hokom, he grew up on a farm in Nebraska during the Great Depression with his sister Delores and his brothers Robert and Ronald. After attending a one room school house and then Lodgepole High School, he attended Kearney State Teachers College, the University of Colorado, Boulder, and Case Western Reserve, where he studied English, German, Mathematics, and Education. After completing his studies, he moved to the Bay Area where he became a math teacher at Mt. Eden High School and met Dena Ruble. After marrying, they spent a year as exchange teachers in Germany, forming many lifelong friendships. They had two children, Amy and Matthew, and three grandchildren, Andrew, Oscar, and Samuel. Pete taught mathematics at Mt. Eden High School for almost 40 years, where he was a beloved teacher and colleague. Even after his retirement, he continued teaching, tutoring students of all ages and abilities for another twenty years, and continued to be a friend and mentor to many former students. A life long traveler, Pete had an appetite for landscapes and cultures of all sorts. He loved food, gardening, and the arts, especially literature, music, and theater. He was excellent company, a superb host, and a wise and loving friend to people of all ages and backgrounds. More than anything else, he enjoyed spending time with his children and grandchildren as well as his siblings and their families - playing pinochle, sharing stories and good food. He is already missed by so many.
At his request there will be no service. A scholarship has been set up in his name at Mt. Eden High School for advanced math students. Donations can be made directly to Mt. Eden High School ASB for the "Pete Hokom Scholarship" or through this memorial website through the donations link.
Thanks to Mr. Hokum, and his classes at Mt. Eden, I came to love math. His humor and love of teaching made every class enjoyable (even the tests!). I’ve been able to spread the love of math to my own children as well. Knowledge is power! Rest in Power!
Mr. Hokom was my math teacher at Mt. Eden and I will never forget him. He made me like math and he was so kind and funny and it was clear he cared so much about his students. He was my favorite math teacher and probably even my favorite teacher at Mt.... moreMr. Hokom was my math teacher at Mt. Eden and I will never forget him. He made me like math and he was so kind and funny and it was clear he cared so much about his students. He was my favorite math teacher and probably even my favorite teacher at Mt. Eden. He had such an impact on so many students, including me. I am glad he lived such a full, joyful and meaningful life. Thank you for everything, Mr. Hokom. less
I think I’ve been putting off writing down my thoughts about my Great Uncle Pete (always called simply Uncle Pete) because I haven't wanted to accept that he's not here anymore. And yet one of the things I respected most about Uncle Pete was how open... moreI think I’ve been putting off writing down my thoughts about my Great Uncle Pete (always called simply Uncle Pete) because I haven't wanted to accept that he's not here anymore. And yet one of the things I respected most about Uncle Pete was how open he was. Whether something was pleasant or painful, he was always willing to talk to me about it. And thats how I want to be. So here goes.
I learned so much from Uncle Pete. I quite literally learned Algebra from him. When I was 13, I hated Algebra, and I was struggling. Uncle Pete was able to teach me not only how to solve the problems, but the methodology and concept behind why they should be solved. I cant put Algebra into words the way he could, so I won’t try, but to learn that there was reason behind it all, a history, a purpose besides torturing teenagers, was eye opening.
Although we were always friendly, I didn't become close to Uncle Pete until I went to college. Berkeley was close enough to Newark, and I would have dinners with Pete and Dena every month or so. These dinners were unlike any others that I had previously experienced. They were massive in scope. They’d take hours. They felt European. There was time for drinks, time for snacks, time for dinner, time for dessert, then maybe some cheese, more drinks, perhaps a couple changes of venue between the dinner table, the living room and the sitting room at the front of the house. Maybe some records would be played. Jazz or country or something good. And the whole time, the house would be filled with conversation. Dena knew how to talk (God, she was good at it) and so did Pete. They chatted about anything and everything. And it was all interesting. And they were interested. In me, my studies, my thoughts, my plans. Everything.
When they found out I was taking an acting class in college, they took it upon themselves to invite me to plays. Pete and Dena were long time subscribers at Berkeley Rep and made sure to procure me an extra seat any chance they could. I had never really seen legitimate theatre. My mother was a huge supporter of the arts, but growing up in Stockton didn't lend itself to seeing ground-breaking, cutting-edge theatre. (No offense to my amazing brother David and his 5th grade star turn in The Stockton Civic Theatre’s production of The Pirates of Penzance!) Of the plays they took me to, three come to mind. One was called Tragedy: A Tragedy, which was a comedy about the world ending. One was a one man show about Brooklyn in which Danny Hoch inhabited about 20 different characters. But the one that was so profoundly impactful, the one that I credit the pursuit of a career in the theatre, was Joe Turner’s Come and Gone by Uncle Petes all-time favorite playwright, August Wilson. Before the play Pete taught me about Wilson, how he wrote a 10 play cycle, each set in a different decade and all of them about being black in America. Most take place in Pittsburgh. They are funny, tragic, poetic, beautiful plays. Plays with depth and meaning. Plays whose suspense keeps you on the edge of your seat. Plays that feed the soul.
The production of Joe Turner’s Come and Gone was probably the best play I’ve ever seen. It is certainly the most impactful. It was a play about characters that didn't look like me or talk like me. It was set in the 1911. And yet, everything about it was utterly human and relateable. The whole play felt like a religious experience. The final lines were uttered, “You shining like new money.” The lights faded to black, the audience took a collective inhale, and the applause began. Before we could get out of our seats to give a well deserved standing ovation, Uncle Pete leaned over to me, looked me in the eye and asked simply “Isn’t theatre wonderful?” Its a moment I”ll never forget. And a moment that has had an immeasurable impact on my life.
When I started acting in plays around the Bay Area, Pete and Dena were there supporting me. When I was doing a play in San Francisco but living in Stockton and needed a place to stay, Pete and Dena opened their home to me. When my mom got sick, they were people I could count on. I could talk to them, be comforted and fed by them, be quiet and sad with them. When I needed some part-time work, they paid me to paint the interior of their house for a summer. And of course that led to many more lengthy and wonderful dinners. Its time that I absolutely cherish.
When I moved away to grad school Uncle Pete and I kept in fairly good touch through email every month or two. When Dena passed, I was so taken back by how open and honest he was about his sadness. He didn't sugar coat anything. He loved her so fully and was heart broken by her loss. I respected his honesty and his vulnerability.
After moving to New York, Uncle Pete and I had a new tradition every time I’d visit California. I would book the red eye flight for my return to New York and set aside time on the last day of my trip to stop into Newark. I’d get to his house around 4pm. We’d chat, have dinner, and then proceed to drink Manhattans and laugh and solve the worlds problems until I reluctantly took an Uber to SFO around 9:30. We got really drunk and really merry and just really enjoyed each other. We had three of these pre flight catch up sessions, each one more fun than the last.
There’s a lot more that Uncle Pete taught me about: Chimay Beer, Johnny Hodges, Ella Fitzgerald, Gruner Veltliner, Sloppy Joes, Hog Island Oysters, The New Yorker Magazine, the great Russian novelists, existentialism, spicy Thai Food, how to skunk-proof a backyard deck, the list goes on. But I think the thing I learned most about Uncle Pete was how to value a relationship. I know I had a special relationship with him and I know so many other people did as well. And those other relationships had there own traditions and focal points that were crafted and nurtured because Uncle Pete valued them. He loved people, loved what made them different and unique, and loved engaging them in a meaningful way. He taught people, he listened to people, he inspired people.
There’s a lot I’ll miss about Uncle Pete. I’m not quite ready to say goodbye. So instead I’ll take a page out of his book, raise a glass, and say “Prost!”, “Skol!” “And Here’s Mud In Your Eye!” less
Shannan Dugan
What a beautiful tribute. I loved learning more about your uncle beyond whatl he did for the students at Mt. Eden and our relationship there with him.
Mr. Marvin Hokom was an amazing person and teacher. It is a testament to what a great person and teacher he was that many of his former students, from his 40+ years of teaching, kept in touch with him. I've... moreBelow are some comments from former students:
Mr. Marvin Hokom was an amazing person and teacher. It is a testament to what a great person and teacher he was that many of his former students, from his 40+ years of teaching, kept in touch with him. I've always loved Math and he always made complex math problems easy to understand and solve. I regret my kids have never met him and hope that they will have teachers like him who made huge impact in many lives. Rest in peace, Mr. Hokom, you will be missed!
Mr. Marvin Hokom was not only an amazing teacher, he was, quite simply, an amazing person! He not only taught us math, but how to enjoy the process of learning!! I still hear him singing “Don’t Fence me in” while teaching asymptotes?! I think! 😂 Anyway, thank you, Mr. Hokom for teaching us all!! You will be missed!
Teachers have the power to make such a difference in our lives. Marvin Hokom was not just a brilliant math teacher but possessed a special gift displaying his passion for math. He was contagious, funny and so loving. What an honor for me to have had him for Geometry and Statistics. He made me smarter and he did it with love. "How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" We will see you heaven Mr. Hokom.
Rest in power to one of the most amazing teachers ever. Thank you Mr. Marvin Hokom for your inspiration, kind word, & laughter. You believed in many of us at Mt. Eden HS & I hope you k now your legacy lives on with us all. We love you and miss you dearly. Thank you for your stories, gifting me your jazz CDs, & continuous kind affirmations all these years. I'll be playing some Coltrane & Miles Davis thinking of you. We're always going to be your #HokomsHeroesless
Amy, your dad was a warm, kind, and calm presence, always making me feel at home and at ease at your house in Newark. Love and hugs to you and your family.
Papa Pete was a truly amazing person to me, my family, and my friends. I knew him for 13 years and never once witnessed him disrespecting anyone or anything in any possible way. Papa Pete was an incredible teacher - he taught me many things about life... morePapa Pete was a truly amazing person to me, my family, and my friends. I knew him for 13 years and never once witnessed him disrespecting anyone or anything in any possible way. Papa Pete was an incredible teacher - he taught me many things about life that I will always value. As sad as I am that he is no longer with us, I know that I will have him in my heart. I am immensely grateful I knew him and was lucky enough to be one of his grandsons. His generosity is a trait I wish everyone could have experienced in person. I will always look up to him and hope one day I can be just like him. less
I liked Mr. Hokom a lot back in high school (I was MEHS class of 1971) and was happy we reconnected a year or two ago on facebook. He was a great teacher and a very nice person. His wife Dena Ruble was a favorite teacher of my older sister.
Mr. Hokom was a brilliant teacher. I despised math and had given up when I had the privilege of being in his statistics class my senior year. Math really only had meaning to me that year and it was due in large part to his style of teaching. He has... moreMr. Hokom was a brilliant teacher. I despised math and had given up when I had the privilege of being in his statistics class my senior year. Math really only had meaning to me that year and it was due in large part to his style of teaching. He has left on impressions on thousands at least. What a legacy. less
Pete and I were colleagues at Mt. Eden and remained friends for all these years. Pete was a wonderful Math teacher not only teaching advanced math but he also excelled at teaching students struggling with Math. I will miss cocktails in Pete’s... morePete and I were colleagues at Mt. Eden and remained friends for all these years. Pete was a wonderful Math teacher not only teaching advanced math but he also excelled at teaching students struggling with Math. I will miss cocktails in Pete’s beautiful garden, conversations around his dinner table and celebrating our birthdays every year. Rest In Peace dear friend. Mary Ann O’Toole less
Mr. Hokom was the most engaging math teacher I ever had!
Always a gentleman and very witty to boot.
My condolences to his family and friends.
This world has lost a great spirit!
Mr. Hokum was hands-down my favorite math teacher, and perhaps, one of my favorite teachers overall, at Mt. Eden High School. He was funny, kind and extremely patient. His enthusiasm for math was infectious, and he made learning fun. Rest in peace, sir... moreMr. Hokum was hands-down my favorite math teacher, and perhaps, one of my favorite teachers overall, at Mt. Eden High School. He was funny, kind and extremely patient. His enthusiasm for math was infectious, and he made learning fun. Rest in peace, sir — my condolences to his family. less
We have been fortunate to know "Papa Pete" through his many trips to East Lansing to visit Amy and family. My first memory of Papa Pete was from 12 years ago when he revealed himself as a "baby whisperer" soothing the worried... moreWe have been fortunate to know "Papa Pete" through his many trips to East Lansing to visit Amy and family. My first memory of Papa Pete was from 12 years ago when he revealed himself as a "baby whisperer" soothing the worried "Baby Cole" as I took Andy and Lily to preschool. Cole sensed at that moment what we all have experienced with Pete. He was warm, wise, and kind and had a calming and soothing effect on babies and adults alike. Pete will be missed but lives on in our memories and in his beloved Amy and family. less
So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life,
perfect your... moreLive Your Life - Chief Tecumseh (Poem)
So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart.
Trouble no one about their religion;
respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours.
Love your life,
perfect your life,
beautify all things in your life.
Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people.
Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.
Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend,
even a stranger, when in a lonely place.
Show respect to all people and grovel to none.
When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself.
Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.
When it comes your time to die,
be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death,
so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way.
Sing your death song and die like a hero going home. less
I had the privilege of knowing Pete/Marvin since 1991 when Amy and I first became a couple. (I still don’t know if I should call him Pete or Marvin or Mr. Hokom so I will vacillate throughout even though I jokingly called him “Petey” quite a bit). ... moreI had the privilege of knowing Pete/Marvin since 1991 when Amy and I first became a couple. (I still don’t know if I should call him Pete or Marvin or Mr. Hokom so I will vacillate throughout even though I jokingly called him “Petey” quite a bit). The first words that come to mind describing Amy’s dad was that he was an incredibly decent person. I mean this as the highest praise - he had good manners and knew the value of a hand written thank-you note, a kind word, and a good glass of wine. Other descriptors include thoughtful, smart, and fun. Kid’s these days would even say he was woke. That’s a rare combination.
Marvin could connect with people of all ages. I think this is because he was a completely authentic person who knew who he was. He was accepting of others and he was comfortable in his own skin. That’s a fairly rare thing in this world and something worth celebrating. “Petey” was deceptively cool even if he was dressed in khakis, crocs, and a fleece vest. He had street style as I used to tease him.
We are both somewhat high in Neuroticism, so I appreciated Pete’s concern for the worst-case scenario. Such a trait might have been occasionally frustrating to Dena and his kids, but I understood it. The world would be a far worse place without worriers. Somebody has to take responsibility, after all. Marvin was that kind of guy. Thank you.
Mr. Hokom was unconditionally supportive of the people I care the most about in this world – Amy, Andy, and Sam. He was an admirable grandfather. Marvin meant a lot to many people and he had a major impact on many lives as a beloved teacher. I hope this is something that gives a modicum of comfort to Amy and Matthew. Your dad meant something to others and lived a life worthy of respect. He set a good example for Andy, Oscar, and Sam.
I was lucky to know Pete and will miss him. Rest in peace, Mr. Hokom – There’s a heaven for a G. less
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