The Los Angeles LGBT Center (formerly L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center) exists to:
EMPOWER people to lead full... moreThe Los Angeles LGBT Center (formerly L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center) exists to:
EMPOWER people to lead full and rewarding lives without limits based on sexual orientation and gender identity, by providing the highest quality educational, cultural, and wellness programs to residents of Los Angeles County;
HEAL the damage caused by discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity, by providing the highest quality health and social services to residents of Los Angeles County in need;
ADVOCATE full access and equality for all people regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, by promoting our communities' needs at local, state, and national levels; and
LEAD through example, by living our values, sharing our expertise, and celebrating the full diversity of our lives, families, and communities. less
In celebration of John Heglin's life, we have provided a way, through "Gathering Us," for his family and friends to share recollections and photos of times spent with our playful and thoughtful dear friend, John.
OBITUARY
The Heglin Family, via John’s sister, Ruth, has issued the following Obituary:
John Ray Heglin was born to Rev. Raymond and Harriet Heglin on July 14, 1947 (although he always preferred to identify the birth year as 1950!) His childhood was spent throughout the Midwest, in Oakland, IL; Hiawatha, KS; Fairbury, NE; Crookston, MN; Minneapolis, MN; Glidden, IA; and Woodward, OK; all were at Presbyterian Churches where Dad and Mom... see more
The Heglin Family, via John’s sister, Ruth, has issued the following Obituary:
John Ray Heglin was born to Rev. Raymond and Harriet Heglin on July 14, 1947 (although he always preferred to identify the birth year as 1950!) His childhood was spent throughout the Midwest, in Oakland, IL; Hiawatha, KS; Fairbury, NE; Crookston, MN; Minneapolis, MN; Glidden, IA; and Woodward, OK; all were at Presbyterian Churches where Dad and Mom served. In Ames, IA, he attended Iowa State University, majoring in architecture. John loved to travel and headed west, falling in love with Los Angeles, where he was certified with the California State Board of Architecture. Living in the various neighborhoods of LA provided him with opportunities to meet and establish many lasting friendships over the years, and he continued to enjoy travel adventures with a number of them. John was a very generous man to his family, as well as with his time and ambitions for organizations and causes in which he believed. He is preceded in death by his Father in 2008, and is survived by his 101-year-old Mother, his sister, Ruth, brothers Mark and Paul, nieces Raychelle and Coleen, and nephew Zach. Dear John, you are loved and will be missed, but remain always in our hearts.
I just found out about John's passing. John and I worked together at Aleks Istanbullu Architects about 15 years ago. He was the kindest, sweetest man, always willing to help, always with a big smile and with a great generosity of spirit. He always made... moreI just found out about John's passing. John and I worked together at Aleks Istanbullu Architects about 15 years ago. He was the kindest, sweetest man, always willing to help, always with a big smile and with a great generosity of spirit. He always made time to mentor younger staff in the office and gave generously of his time. I last met him in 2015 for lunch, but we texted on and off. My last text went unanswered and I thought I better check in, and alas I stumbled across this obituary. Luckily, John lived a good life despite his health issues and characteristically left behind all these memories in the lives he touched. Be well, my dear friend. Until we meet again... less
It was a blessing to know John.
John was caring, funny, vivacious and insightful. We always had great walks (that were also architectural tours, which I loved).
His gift of friendship was so purely from the heart. Thank you my friend!
Rest in peace and love...
The Heglin family has asked that the following be shared as submitted by John’s sister, Ruth:
Wanting to share sad news of our Mother, Harriet Heglin’s passing in the morning of Dec. 17th. She was 101 years young! Harriet had tested positive for... moreThe Heglin family has asked that the following be shared as submitted by John’s sister, Ruth:
Wanting to share sad news of our Mother, Harriet Heglin’s passing in the morning of Dec. 17th. She was 101 years young! Harriet had tested positive for Covid 19, fourteen days earlier and we thought she was going to be ok as her vitals were good on a daily basis. On Tuesday night, however, her breathing became difficult, she was agitated and placed on oxygen and medications. The Home allowed Ruth to see her in full PPE, on Wednesday morning. Harriet recognized her, and conversed somewhat. In our sadness, we are feeling some joy that she and John and our Dad are reuniting. less
Rest in Peace, Harriet Heglin. Today (12/17) I received a text from Mark, that Harried passed away this morning. She was 101. She led a long and good life; she was well loved and cared for by her family. Our hearts go out to all the siblings and... moreRest in Peace, Harriet Heglin. Today (12/17) I received a text from Mark, that Harried passed away this morning. She was 101. She led a long and good life; she was well loved and cared for by her family. Our hearts go out to all the siblings and cousins who cherished her company. less
With very fond memories of time spent with John, his relatives, Dorothy & Rod Soderstrom and Robyn & Bob Nelson, have sent donations to be contributed to the fund of his choice: LA LGBT Center.
My Uncle John loved sharing the culture of LA, the museums, the theater, the architecture, & the food. As a pre-teen & into my teen years, I would visit him for about a week during the summer. He always ensured I knew all about the sights of LA,... moreMy Uncle John loved sharing the culture of LA, the museums, the theater, the architecture, & the food. As a pre-teen & into my teen years, I would visit him for about a week during the summer. He always ensured I knew all about the sights of LA, everything had a story & it was always an adventure. Even when he would have to work he would set me up at an available drafting table with drafting paper & all the supplies I would need. He would encourage me as I would draw up my own house plans. I remember my first experiences of the theater were with him, first Cats & later Phantom of the Opera. He consistently encouraged learning, exploration, & creativity. less
As others have mentioned, travel was always an adventure for John. When he stayed with us, it was as if only days had passed; he had a way of being so comfortable with himself that it felt only natural to have his company again. During a visit to LA, when... moreAs others have mentioned, travel was always an adventure for John. When he stayed with us, it was as if only days had passed; he had a way of being so comfortable with himself that it felt only natural to have his company again. During a visit to LA, when our older son, Adrian, was a tyke, it was a our joy to see how John connected with him right away. While we never lived in the same city again, he was ever eager to hear the latest about our boys. With enthusiasm, he followed our younger Theo’s swimming competitions and, when one was set in Santa Clarita, he came to watch. The sun, the splashing water and the intense competition (for these swimmers to “make regionals”) all brought out his engaging playfulness, a great tonic at the time.
Wherever he lived (and he did have several places over the years) we’d always visit him when we were back in LA. He embraced the benefits of each location, whether it was a view, a walk around his neighborhood to see the unique shops or picking avocados from a huge tree in his back yard. I was fortunate in 2014-16 to have consulting work in Orange County, so visiting John was a bonus during that time.
It seems that, with these reflections, and reading those of his many friends, as well as writing our own, John’s special qualities are in the forefront of our memories, and I join others in expressing gratefulness for his presence in our lives. less
I appreciate reading the reflections of John’s friends…it’s delightful to learn about his life in the many years since we left LA. It is heartwarming to know about his hiking love, his biking enthusiasm and his close connections to the children of... moreI appreciate reading the reflections of John’s friends…it’s delightful to learn about his life in the many years since we left LA. It is heartwarming to know about his hiking love, his biking enthusiasm and his close connections to the children of friends—he was marvelous with our children and I’m glad to know he had many young people in his life. What a rich group of friends and activities are described. Thank you.
It seems like another era (and I guess the early ’80’s was!) given the pandemic restrictions, but when John lived with Ray and me in our Rossmore flat, we had a constant stream of visitors and had a kitchen suitable for group cooking. John was always ready to try new recipes with me and how he enjoyed food, both simple/unadorned and the more complex dishes. With our plans to move to CT, he was quick to say he looked forward to visiting us there. less
John had a radiant personality that brought people together from all his associations with work and play. In the late 70's he was involved with the Associate AIA group for young architects who were not yet licensed architects. John was active in the... moreJohn had a radiant personality that brought people together from all his associations with work and play. In the late 70's he was involved with the Associate AIA group for young architects who were not yet licensed architects. John was active in the group and created life long friends with many people Susan Peterson, Ray St Francis, greg Cloud, Sheryl Brantner, Fran Offenhauser and many others. John introduced me to the Associate AIA and his friends who became my life long friends too. Though out John's life he was always so inclusive introducing people to all the activities he was involved doing.
Hiking was a passion for John, day hikes in the Santa Monica Mountains or week back packing trips into the Sierra Nevada back country were a staple. Another group of friends emerged from hiking including Joe, Claire, Lorna and many more. John had amazing vigor and fortitude for the mountain trails and majestic natural beauty. This was another activity we shared.
John loved "Road Trips" - he was energized getting into the car and traveling on a well researched trip with maps and architecture to see. He was a great explorer! John had a passion for Frank lloyd Wright and we made many trips to see Wright buildings all over the US. There were so many trips: Chicago, Madison, Spring Green and New York. In addition there was a trip to Carmel to see the Walker House and even Los Banos to see the Fawcett House - no stone (house) was left unturned! Every trip has a story of being lost looking for a building - however John would always persevere until every building on his list was found! I would call him very tenacious!
John was an early LGBT Rights Activist in the 70's and 80's. He took me on my first Human Rights march in Sacramento and he went on to participate in the march on Washington DC. He lead by example and convinced people to follow and become activists! Early in the HIV epidemic John fought for the use of experimental drug treatments and encouraged people to lobby the government. Latter in life Voting Rights became another passion for John and he ran several LA polling places. He even got the building where he lived to allow the community room to be used for election polling.
There are so many aspects to Johns life to talk about but foremost he was an enduring friend to all of us and always inclusive to everyone. We will miss Johns smile and enthusiasm for life! less
I met John in 1981, when I took a studio space downtown across the hall from him and his friend, Cheryl Brantner. By 1984-ish, he found a great space for the two of us in the former, custom-built studio of Los Angeles muralist, Einer Petersen. It was... moreI met John in 1981, when I took a studio space downtown across the hall from him and his friend, Cheryl Brantner. By 1984-ish, he found a great space for the two of us in the former, custom-built studio of Los Angeles muralist, Einer Petersen. It was just perfect--I used Einer's studio space and John located in his former living quarters. We loved it and stayed for many years, until my daughter was about seven, and it was time for me to move on.
We had become fast friends. John celebrated birthdays, graduations, and weddings with Bob, and Nora and I, and his wicked and lovely sense of humor was infectious. John never gave advice, because he was too diplomatic for that. He knew how to get along with just about anyone, and he also knew how to get the most out of every situation. I often remarked to Bob and others, "John is the most victorious person I've ever known."
John had a wonderful family, wonderful friends, sweet pets, and a tireless curiosity. Not so many years ago, he helped me with some research on the history a nursery school building in West Hollywood. At the time, I was co-writing the School's history for it 75th anniversary. John lived down the street from the school and would come up to the archives to help me with the original building's architectural history.
Bob and I moved to Santa Barbara in 2014, and John came to Nora's wedding, thirty-three years after he had met her as a baby in my arms.
So many wonderful memories. My deepest love to a loving and true friend.
John helped me out when I needed help the most. In 1994, my partner was in his final months and had dementia, so he couldn't be left alone. I had someone who came in when I was working to stay with him, but had to be at home all other times. John came... moreJohn helped me out when I needed help the most. In 1994, my partner was in his final months and had dementia, so he couldn't be left alone. I had someone who came in when I was working to stay with him, but had to be at home all other times. John came every Tuesday and Thursday evening to stay with my partner so I could go to the gym or grocery store. That exercise and socialization was what kept me sane during that difficult time and I will forever be grateful for John's help. I will always remember the fun times playing board games with John and am inspired by how he had such a positive attitude even when he wasn't feeling well. less
John, could you find a kinder, deeper, more caring person than John. So, all the harder to have to say goodbye. I would call to check on him and 20 minutes later find we had been talking about me and my family because he would turn the tables to see... moreJohn, could you find a kinder, deeper, more caring person than John. So, all the harder to have to say goodbye. I would call to check on him and 20 minutes later find we had been talking about me and my family because he would turn the tables to see how I was doing. He always made the world about you. I loved to just listen to his stories and wanted to hear more. For someone that did not have kids, I was amazed at how he related to my children. He knew what to say, engaged them and made them feel so special. John, I miss you so. Love you less
John may be laughing at me for not being able to get the photos in the right location here. John and I had so many adventures together. We really met at my Aunt Lois's memorial service in SD. John's mom Harriet and my Aunt Lois's husband Bob were sister... moreJohn may be laughing at me for not being able to get the photos in the right location here. John and I had so many adventures together. We really met at my Aunt Lois's memorial service in SD. John's mom Harriet and my Aunt Lois's husband Bob were sister and brother. It was kindred cousin spirit at our first dinner together and from then on we traveled together all over the Unites States. We went to NYC and got VIP seats to Jon Stewart as my son was an intern for him, We traveled to Oregon twice together for cousin Liza and cousin Grace's weddings. I visited John in West Hollywood a number of times. My sister Brenda and I went to stay with John when he had a triple bypass. We met John in Wisconsin for Aunt Phylis's Birthday, and visited my mom for her 80th Birthday. John and I spent time in Ojai together. John attended my daughter Courtney's Graduation from Claremont McKenna, and Courtney's Wedding in Ashland Oregon. John, forever the best listener and friend on the planet, always helping me to figure out life, never complaining about his. I love you John and wish we had another day together before you left us. I am for ever grateful that you had Sarah to be near your side during your last month. I am also eternally grateful to Janet for bringing Maurice to her loving home. less
Debbie Hoffmann
Three more pictures from that magical 2008 hike Claire and Lorna write about. One could not have asked for a more joyful hiking companion.
His resourceful nature was evident in one of our first outings (in 1976) to investigate for the City of LA a firestation that was slated to be demolished. When John saw a handsome, if well worn, wooden handrail that would have been the victim of the... moreHis resourceful nature was evident in one of our first outings (in 1976) to investigate for the City of LA a firestation that was slated to be demolished. When John saw a handsome, if well worn, wooden handrail that would have been the victim of the demolition crew, he swung into action to save it from junk heap fate. He designed a table around his new find; many may know his glass topped table with the steel struts, all a result of his early recycling efforts.
In my first job in LA, while working together, both in the office and out in the field, John and I had lunch together every day. When I suddenly was looking for a new place to live, he offered that his second bedroom was available, if I wanted to take it. He lived in a classic LA two story old apartment building on Olympic that had a lovely, large bird-of-paradise-flower-laden courtyard facing the street. Reflecting now on his environmental approach, I appreciate that he insisted we take the bus downtown to work, even though we both had cars.
As part of my intro to life in LA, John suggested I join him for a flamboyant Halloween party. What shall we be? Somehow we decided on brightly blooming flowers and stitched up big petals and then we threaded thin wooden reeds to hold their shape. We even made little buzzy bees to attach to them. They were a big hit, which was nice, as we put in about a week’s work collecting the raw materials and then fashioning the outfits!
In about a year, we both moved on to other jobs and living situations but stayed in regular contact.
Having experienced how easy it was to share an abode with John, a few years later, when I had my own office with my business partner, Fran, in the Bradbury Bldg, with whom I shared a large house on Sycamore, (soon to include the man would become my husband, Ray), John joined us there, too. What a playful time that was for the four of us to live together in that 3-story hillside home, made more dramatic than many of its peers as it had been created in the late 1920’s by a Hollywood set designer! One entered on the top floor and walked along a short narrow hallway to a balcony over looking the main living room 15 feet below. The lengthy South-facing wall had two pairs of 10’ tall French doors with 8" x 16" lites, so pretty they were, and gave a splendid view of the lights of Hollywood Boulevard’s buildings below and the city beyond. John was very much at ease with the buzz of the city nearby but enjoying the serenity of our home together, when we weren’t entertaining which was a regular event.
Still to come was the third shared home with John when he joined Ray and me at a flat on Rossmore. More on that and the later years in the next installment. less
The photograph of John, Joe Franko and me, in the Sierras, wearing our “Friend” t-shirts (and I notice that Joe’s actually reads “fiend” which seems so appropriate) sits on my desk as I type, and as I zoom, and I find myself rubbing John’s... moreThe photograph of John, Joe Franko and me, in the Sierras, wearing our “Friend” t-shirts (and I notice that Joe’s actually reads “fiend” which seems so appropriate) sits on my desk as I type, and as I zoom, and I find myself rubbing John’s arm in moments of stress or quiet contemplation.
Joe Franko introduced me to John, perhaps 13 or 14 years ago. Joe invited him along on our historic, life-changing 28-mile six-day hike from Agnew Meadows to Tuolumne Meadows in 2008. It was there that our friendship began, and it was at Tuolumne Meadows in 2014 that John and I sprinkled some of Joe’s ashes in the river. John and I witnessed Joe’s death at Kaiser hospital; that was one of many deeply bonding experiences.
So, we were friends from 2008 until this past October. I loved him like crazy. One of my most fond memories – from that same Kennedy Meadows trip where the t-shirts picture was taken – was of John’s unflinching energy and generosity as he kept running back and forth to a nearby stream with his pump, to fill our bottles with clear filtered water. The rest of us – probably all healthier than he was at the time – were lounging around the campsite while he clambered up and down the rocks. When I go hiking, I still carry the pump that he gave to Joe.
John was also my Los Angeles urban companion. We would drive around and he would point our buildings that he had worked on. I could never fully grasp the extent of his architectural practice, in part because there was so much else that we shared. We also drove around to look at buildings that interested him, and he would tell me about the design, the history, the architect . . . his knowledge was so broad, and like his fetching water for us, so generous.
We went out for lunch and dinner; we cooked for each other at his place and mine. We celebrated Passover at Death Valley, several Thanksgivings, Christmas eve at All Saints in Pasadena, and we happened to be together the evening of Steve Jobs’ death, and John cried. We went to museums, plays, dance concerts and movies; I remember he once took me to a film that was part of a Los Angeles LGBTQ film festival and I delighted in being in a distinct minority in a room full of several hundred gay men. We had long phone conversations. We walked in LA and Pasadena, and on the beach near Playa Vista. We had “game nights” (he and Mark both loved “Ticket to Ride”) with Susan and Bryan.
I got particular pleasure out of sending postcards to John whenever I was traveling, and sometimes when I was merely sitting at home. I visited him in too many hospitals, and I was repeatedly awed by his fierce will to survive one medical challenge after another. After he all-but-moved to San Diego, he sometimes brought his mother up to LA, and we would meet for lunch. I was also in awe of his devotion to Harriet. I will always regret that this awful pandemic meant that the last time I saw him was in a hospital in Oceanside, at the beginning of this year.
The people I love best are those with whom the conversation never stops. I loved John, and I am not going to stop loving him now. less
I first met John Heglin during the summer of 2008. A friend we have in common, Claire Gorfinkel, had organized a six-day hiking trip from Agnew Meadows to Tuolumne Meadows, over Donohue Pass. We all had a long history of hiking in the... moreFrom Lorna Cunkle:
I first met John Heglin during the summer of 2008. A friend we have in common, Claire Gorfinkel, had organized a six-day hiking trip from Agnew Meadows to Tuolumne Meadows, over Donohue Pass. We all had a long history of hiking in the Sierra Nevada. In subsequent summers, we continued to meet for hiking trips in the Emigrant Wilderness, Death Valley, and Tuolumne Meadows, the latter being a special place for all of us. John was always a guiding light, quick to be sure we all had filtered water, checking maps so we wouldn’t get lost, and helping provide good meals and lots of junk food, too. I feel honored to have spent so many days in the wilderness with John, and will treasure the memories. less
For many years, mountain biking somewhere in the LA hills every Sunday became almost a religious experience for John. It was his passion and somehow I got drafted into this passion of his for a good number of those years. Regardless of how he was... moreFor many years, mountain biking somewhere in the LA hills every Sunday became almost a religious experience for John. It was his passion and somehow I got drafted into this passion of his for a good number of those years. Regardless of how he was feeling physically or emotionally, I could always expect a call or an email every Saturday....."where are we biking tomorrow?' or "what time will you pick me up tomorrow?" And even if I was feeling overworked with too many deadlines, John would cajole me somehow to take just an hour or two to go biking and he always promised that we would be back early so that I could get my work done late on Sunday afternoon.
As always with John, a planned one or two hours on a trail would turn into three or four house of exhaustion for me. The guy was relentless. "Let's do just one more hill" or "I wonder where this trail goes" or "don't walk, get back on your bike!" would be shouted at me way too many times every Sunday. Or he would convince me to bike by some building or interesting architectural structure that he had recently discovered and that he promised would only take us an additional 30 minutes. I learned quickly that 30 minutes more of biking to John usually meant another 2 hours - many of John's friends can identify with his sense of time or lack thereof - and I would finally get home feeling like an explorer tagging behind a batch of blond hair flying down La Cienega on the way home. The images of John cycling down a steep hill at 20 or 25 mph ending with a joyous smile at the bottom is forever etched in my mind. But there were times in the later years when riding wouldn't be so joyful for John and there were times when it was John who would have to get off his bike and walk up a hill. Or he would lose his breakfast someplace along the trail because of his periodic nausea, and I would try to convince John that we could stop and walk back down and that we didn't need to get to the top of this hill or that one hour of biking was enough physical exercise for this Sunday. But John's persistence, resilience and his stubbornness would invariably result in "I can do it, I'm OK". And while he often wasn't OK, he would always find a way to get back on that red bike of his and keep going. Always.
And as I would periodically visit with John in the last several years, that same persistence and resilience and stubbornness of his seem to keep him going. I always wondered how he could do it and then I remembered those mountain biking days when he never gave up. Never.
And while I'm no longer on a bike now cycling up hills, I often think of John when I'm hiking and don't know if I can make it to the top. That big smile on his face when he did make it to the top always gives me motivation to keep going. And I smile not because I made it to the top but because I remember John's joy and passion and his drive to keep going. It was a gift from John that serves me well and for which I am forever thankful. Knowing John for almost 45 years, he was a bright light, a special, unique friend and someone who taught us so much about courage in these last years of his life about not giving up on that long ride up the mountain.
Blessings on John and we will think of him often. less
Upon my arrival in LA in the mid-seventies, I worked across a drafting desk from John and he graciously introduced me to his LA. In those days, we were part of a very active group of us young architects, enthusiastic about our chosen field! If we... moreUpon my arrival in LA in the mid-seventies, I worked across a drafting desk from John and he graciously introduced me to his LA. In those days, we were part of a very active group of us young architects, enthusiastic about our chosen field! If we weren’t at our drawing tables, we attended lectures, toured buildings or gathered together for a party. John was always an enthusiast and enjoyed folding others into the mix. I felt fortunate to learn about the city from him and, after leaving LA in the 80’s, he continued to celebrate the big and small events in our lives, coming to visit us even when we lived in Connecticut, and we always got together when we visited So. Cal.
One classic John approach was during his visit with us after we moved to Stamford, Connecticut, when I was pregnant with our first child. The doctor told me to stay off my feet in the final stages and, as John wanted to do some shopping at the Stamford Mall, he reserved a mall wheelchair to take me through the stores. He wanted to steer and while Ray was chatting with us, John proceeded to amuse himself by maneuvering me through the tightest clothing aisles in Macy’s, just for the thrill of brushing past all the circular fixtures filled with shirts and sweaters and pants! We laughed hysterically, me from my seated position, and the two of them jogging behind. Such out-of-the box thinking and sense of adventure was ever-present with John!
With a warm heart, we think of John and his special spark of curiosity and kindness.
-Susan less
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