We created a GatheringUs memorial to celebrate the life of Elizabeth "BJ" Infante.
Please share stories, your feelings, reminisce, and connect with the large group of friends and family that will miss BJ.
Thank you for contributing to this lasting memorial.
Since moving to California and visiting Madison, seeing BJ was something I looked forward to. She was always engaged in what I was up to and we had always had great conversation. When Ardyn and Cole came into the world they also began looking forward to... moreSince moving to California and visiting Madison, seeing BJ was something I looked forward to. She was always engaged in what I was up to and we had always had great conversation. When Ardyn and Cole came into the world they also began looking forward to hanging out with BJ on visits as well. She taught them a game for car rides that involved guessing one another's secret animal. The kids are now 9 and 6 and still love to play "BJ's game." She was a staple at the Fayram household growing up, entering often, always completely unannounced, and sitting with us at the kitchen table to chat. My best to everyone who knew and cherished BJ. -Abbie Pon less
I met BJ at Trinity College where we were classmates. She was always a positive force. What I remember most is her joy in music. She always had a song on her lips. She knew all the lyrics and when something in a conversation would remind her of a song,... moreI met BJ at Trinity College where we were classmates. She was always a positive force. What I remember most is her joy in music. She always had a song on her lips. She knew all the lyrics and when something in a conversation would remind her of a song, she would sing a line or two. She was also very interested in ideas and discussing them. I thought people would enjoy seeing her yearbook picture. We stayed together at our last few reunions. The picture is from our 45th. It is hard to think of a world without her in it. less
We've really lost a shining star with Elizabeth's passing. We were friends at school at the beginning of our friendship, and I remember our regular late Friday afternoon talks when we would discuss kids, lessons and struggles. Elizabeth always took... moreWe've really lost a shining star with Elizabeth's passing. We were friends at school at the beginning of our friendship, and I remember our regular late Friday afternoon talks when we would discuss kids, lessons and struggles. Elizabeth always took special care with the students she was assigned to and was so smart about coming up with new ways to draw them in. Invariably, suddenly it was dinner time, so we'd track over the Bavaria for Friday night fish. Elizabeth had an ironic sense of humor! I remember movies together that I would have never seen without her, grocery shopping together at Metcalfes, lunches at Nonno's, swapping books, walking in the Arboretum, trying on clothes at Land's End sales, shopping for books and toys for our respective "grands", APT, and long conversations about politics, religion, and "doing the right thing" in situations where the "right thing" was terribly unclear. Elizabeth challenged me to be a bigger, more compassionate person - to think outside the box, and to be braver than I thought I could be. I will miss her. less
For 6 summers Carole Doeppers and I "directed" a summer play with the Fayram and Doepper kids. The kids wrote the plays. BJ was almost always with us and played what we would call ""character" parts. Here are some of the... moreFor 6 summers Carole Doeppers and I "directed" a summer play with the Fayram and Doepper kids. The kids wrote the plays. BJ was almost always with us and played what we would call ""character" parts. Here are some of the highlights of her acting career.
Here are just a couple of BJ's talents, usually as a villain.
- Marilyn Fayram less
I second what Andy said. Yes, a genuine and God-given gift. BJ could talk to anyone, was curious about everyone, and would extend a 20-minute dog walk into an hour-long event of getting to know neighbors along the route. My world got much bigger thanks... moreI second what Andy said. Yes, a genuine and God-given gift. BJ could talk to anyone, was curious about everyone, and would extend a 20-minute dog walk into an hour-long event of getting to know neighbors along the route. My world got much bigger thanks to her because I learned to see the possibilities for connection with each new person encountered. She introduced me to the Berrymans and to Music Night (a lasting influence even though I didn't keep going). She was a kind and accepting shelter in the storm for me during very difficult years. To this day my favorite icon of hospitality is the little mini-lantern-key ring she left for me in a flowerpot whenever I came from out of town and stayed with her. I remember visiting Old World Wisconsin together, giggling as we slid down a snowy hill on an out-of-control saucer, and being rendered speechless--yes, both of us--by the sight of goldfinches swooping across a meadow in Lodi Marsh. We had long philosophical and theological conversations; she had an excellent mind for complex issues and shared my tendency to doubt and question everything, which helped each of us feel more normal, even though it also meant spending way too long in the video store deciding what to watch. She fixed me countless meals; I still cut carrots the way she showed me. Restaurants were a challenge because she could cook better than most of them. When she was moving from her Virginia Terrace house to her apartment, there was a bedraggled-looking potted plant she despaired of finding a place for, and I (blasphemously as it turned out) asked why not throw it away; her response: "I can't! I've had it since it was a leaf!" That was BJ: loyal, empathetic, tender. She cared deeply about the children she worked with at school and spent time with some of them after hours to make their lives a little better. She loved a good laugh. I hope she is laughing now about some of the questions we used to argue so seriously about. less
I always looked forward to BJ being at any event. Her presence guaranteed that at least one person would be genuinely interested in talking to me and everyone at the event! Some people are good at talking to people because over time they have developed... moreI always looked forward to BJ being at any event. Her presence guaranteed that at least one person would be genuinely interested in talking to me and everyone at the event! Some people are good at talking to people because over time they have developed skill in asking the right questions to appear interested, BJ's talent was god given, sincere, and rare in my experience. I believe it was one of the primary reasons she was so good with kids (mine and everyone's)...she honestly cared what was going on in their world. I am happy to have known her and also happy that my family and you did as well. Bunch of lucky folks we are. less
Remembering lots of good times, including dinners with friends, trips to the flakeout festival in The Dells, Dr. Evermore's sculpture garden, and of course APT and Forward Theater.
You were a great Nana to Will and Johnny. They loved when you read stories to them, and danced with them. We have so many fond memories of celebrating Christmas with you every year too. We will miss your vibrant smile, gregarious nature and music loving spirit!