To Family and Friends
Donald died Sunday evening, May 31, in our home surrounded by family. Although he had been losing both appetite and weight in recent months, we didn’t know (partly due to the virus hitting NYC, partly due to his stubborn resistance to seeing a doctor) until May 20th that he had pancreatic cancer. He decided he would be most comfortable with hospice care. We thought we would have more time with him, but at least his three children, Joshua, Jason and Marni, and I had ample opportunity to say what we needed to say. Our granddaughter Lucia visited several times, smiling frequently and singing songs with us around the upright piano in the same room with Donald. Natasha Facetimed from France and laughed at Donald’s funny faces when he still had the energy.
He was 86 and would have celebrated his 87th year the day after I reach 80 in November. Astonishingly, we spent close to 60 years together since the fall when we met in 1960 to search for a rental piano for my little apartment.
Music brought us together and gave us pleasure throughout the years. Years ago, he pushed me to study and perform some of the most challenging works for piano. He also loved poetry and literature, as evidenced by a very large collection of books, a printed volume of his poetry, a play produced off-off Broadway, and a large miscellany of poems, plays, novels, critical and humorous articles stored on our computer. In the same way, he always urged our children to follow their dreams.
Despite the tandem arrival of Covid-19 to the US and his as yet undiagnosed cancer, he spent happy hours with his young granddaughters, unleashing a streak of silly humor. And from his large collection of DVD’s, he introduced them to The Magic Flute and Hansel and Gretel which became favorites on school holidays.
Our lives were enriched by our extended families, our wonderful friends who often kept in touch better than we did (my profound thanks!), our neighbors, my amazing plant-obsessed colleagues who met Donald, and our series of feline pet/friends. Life is richer with people, animals and plants to care about. Conversely, our children cared immensely about Donald and stepped in at the end of his life to take many responsibilities off my hands. I love them and am grateful beyond words. We hope to see you, in the late fall.Until then, stay well.