Alex Witherill

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August 3, 2020

Writing this is acknowledging what would be an easy absence to explain during this time. There are lots of people I have not seen in as long as it’s been since I’ve seen Alex. Friend and family alike. I have a very vivid laugh in my mind—an... moreWriting this is acknowledging what would be an easy absence to explain during this time. There are lots of people I have not seen in as long as it’s been since I’ve seen Alex. Friend and family alike. I have a very vivid laugh in my mind—an “ah-HA” when I think of Alex with a big smile on his face. This is how I have thought of Alex for years. And how I think of him now. NOW now. As someone who loved Alex, and also understood his complexities, I have a few thoughts.

The mundane was never mundane
It could be a 24-hour train trip to Portland…instead of a 1-hour flight. (spoiler: people who take that train are too crazy for an airplane.) Or ordering every fried chicken in town for a taste-off instead of one dinner (Popeye’s fried chicken + Out The Door’s Siracha butter sauce is the winning combination).

It was always about the journey, destination optional
Wandering around the dusty town of Garzon, Uruguay for a holiday we entered an oasis of an Inn and meandered around the property for quite a while… to discover that it was actually someone’s backyard. We spent the afternoon with Martin and Annie, and then ended up staying with them for 3 days and having an asado in Francis Mallmann’s backyard. You just never knew…

Alex lived in double time
As anyone reading this can attest, you were either dinner #1 or #2 on any given evening. But you wouldn’t know which one because he would be thrilled to see you regardless. Not many people can have 12 dinners on the books in one week, but Alex certainly did. In hindsight making it to 9/12 dinners a week was probably a good average…just a different matrix.

Alex loved his people
It makes me happy to see how many magical moments Alex created with everyone around him. How much of an impact he has had on so many. He loved his mom, Andrea, Joe, nieces and nephew deeply. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree and Alex love of film, games and curiosity about everything came from Carol. No one had as many personal connections…the inside joke or secret handshake kind of moments…that other people just wouldn’t understand. Alex was the secret sauce.

I am glad that so many people that got to love and be loved by Alex. And wish there would have been 51 more years of that in this world for people to experience. XOXO. Kathleen less

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Andrea Witherill Lovely. I can relate to much of what you've shared. Great shots. Thanks for contributing!
- August 5, 2020

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July 14, 2020 · via iPhone

I’m thinking about my dear friend Alex right now. It feels as if he is with me in spirit – with his wry grin and steadfast gaze. He was for me a creative collaborator, a partner who would pushback, and always an enabler of dreams.

When I used to go... more

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July 9, 2020

I wrote this shortly after we all heard the news... Andrea asked me to post this link here awhile ago. Finally getting it done. For some reason, putting this here made it more real. We had many of the boat people here in Vail this past weekend. You... more

https://myepicday.com/f/ode-to-joy

myepicday.com

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June 24, 2020

25 years of knowing you was just not nearly enough time. There was so much more left to say and do. Rest In Peace my friend. Miss you terribly.

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Andrea Witherill two of the greatest smiling shots so far! Thanks for sharing, David.
- June 24, 2020

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June 23, 2020

Missed you this weekend at my 50th party, old friend! It was everything you loved. Friends, family, champagne, old booze, stories, gifts and laughter. Thanks for the stars.

My sincere condolences to his family - beloved mother, sister, brother,... more

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June 13, 2020 · via iPhone

This is one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do. How should I put our whole relationship into a nutshell? I can’t. That’s the answer. Every time you walked into a room you just made everything vibrant. You are the definition of the life of... more

This is one of the hardest things i’ve ever had to do. How should I put our whole relationship into a nutshell? I can’t. That’s the answer. Every time you walked into a room you just made everything vibrant. You are the definition of the life of... see more

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June 4, 2020

This has been hard to write. How do you encapsulate someone's life in a few words or a few minutes? I guess the answer is that you can't but here I shall try. Alex Witherill was my dear friend. I was Alex’s dear friend. I certainly wasn’t his... moreThis has been hard to write. How do you encapsulate someone's life in a few words or a few minutes? I guess the answer is that you can't but here I shall try. Alex Witherill was my dear friend. I was Alex’s dear friend. I certainly wasn’t his oldest friend and I wasn’t his best friend. I was just a good friend, something I share with hundreds, if not thousands of people that Alex touched throughout his abbreviated life. Like many of his friends and family reading this, his loss has been almost unbearable, his absence creating a deafening silence in our lives and a gaping hole In our hearts. I’ve half expected for the last couple weeks that I’d just hear from him saying the whole thing was just a misunderstanding. God, what I’d do for that to be true.

Alex was just a great guy. He had a giant heart, a kind soul and was a giver in a world full of takers. Your worry, problem or heartache became his, he committed to helping and did his damndest to do so. And despite it all, he always maintained a sunny disposition and a cheery outlook on life. Alex was an adventurer. Alex was a deep thinker. Alex was a lover of all things French: red wine, cheese and women! Alex was an optimist..... anyone who played cards with him could attest to that! Playing golf or poker, he was as gracious a winner as he was lovable as a loser. He was also an outdoorsman, filmmaker, banker and adventurer.

I lived across the hall from him on Green Street in 2006. I didn’t know that being a neighbor of Alex’s would be such a test of ones fortitude and resilience! He was always entertaining and his parties were legendary. As I have previously mentioned, waking up one day and going for a run I encountered Alex in the hallway wearing nothing but a towel and picking up wine glasses from the night before. He just looked at me with that tell all grin and steely stare and not another word was spoken or needed to be. He was so much fun and was kind, witty, entertaining, silly, funny, knowledgable, engaging and boyish.

Anyone and anything that was lucky enough to cross paths with Alex was better off for the experience; that is except Al's cars. Those poor hunks of metal were abused and neglected. Upon leaving the apartment in the morning it was anyone’s guess where Alex’s Aston Martin would be parked. Except, of course, where it was supposed to be parked. It could be in the driveway, blocking the driveway, in front of the apartment entrance, one wheel on the curb and one wheel off, dirty, dented and in disrepair. As would he come out in the morning to move it, probably 3-5 hours after left it there, he always looked fresh, nattily dressed and was ready to tackle the day, none the worse for the wear. I yelled out to him one such morning and told him he reminded me of 006, one short of 007. He laughed as hard as I did. But wasn’t he really 007? Sean Connery and Daniel Craig had nothing on him. He was, charming, dashing, witty, funny, handsome and exciting. He was as comfortable in his tuxedo as he was in his golf shorts. He would be as engaged in conversation with a society doyenne as he would be a with a restaurant worker or laborer. If you had a party and looked around, Alex would inevitably be talking to somebody’s parent or some other unassuming person, that’s just the kind of guy Alex was.

Any time that I had the itch to meet a friend for drinks and dinner, I'd consider which of three categories of friends I was in the mood for. Category 1 was a mellow night with good food, wine and engaging conversation. Alex resided in this bucket. Then there was Category 2, a fun night with drinks or dinner that could go either way and turn into an unexpected adventure. Alex definitely resided in this bucket as well. And then, there was that old Category 3. On those increasingly rare occasions when I wanted to set my hair on fire. Yes, Alex also occupied this bucket, in fact he was first on the list. What a man for all seasons!

His passing has rocked our worlds. I try to tell myself that he’d want to us to go on, but somehow that doesn’t provide any salve to my aching heart. I try to tell myself that he lived life on his own terms, but that just makes me upset. I try to tell myself that he’s in a better place, but I’m not certain of that and my sorrow continues on unabated. We just miss him. We are left with this gaping hole in our hearts and feel such a tremendous loss, not even having the opportunity to say a proper goodbye. Of course that loss would be so less profound had we never known Alex and then I remind myself how much poorer our lives would have been without him. Perhaps his passing is a window and reminder of our own mortality and our lack of control over how and when.

So we must ask ourselves what is the lesson of Alex's life and what is his legacy? I've thought lots about this over the last few weeks and have concluded this. Alex's many lessons include living life to the fullest. To take chances and risks for the thrill of an adventure. To not procrastinate over those things that we want to do, but to do them. Alex's lesson is to treat everyone with respect, and that by treating the smallest person as the most important, we elevate ourselves. His lesson includes appreciating and worshipping the gift of friendship. His untimely passing teaches us to not leave words unspoken and to make the extra effort to both say and do.

If Alex were reading this, no doubt he’d have a few choice one-liners, promise us a steak or spaghetti dinner and remark about the glass of red wine with a “hmmmm that’s tasty”. I’m not sure Alex ever had a glass of wine that wasn’t tasty.

I miss my friend, I keep replaying your voice mails and check your Facebook page daily. I now raise my glass of red Burgundy and say that you will live on in our hearts forever and as for me, I won’t ever ever forget you and hope that one day we will laugh together, hug one another and that I’ll have the chance to tell you that I love you. If anyone could put a smile on God’s face and get him to chuckle, it would be you. Sleep well buddy, I hope you can see these words, and know the impact you’ve had on your legion of friends. We’ll see you again. less

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Andrea Witherill Thanks for this, Brian. A loving and accurate tribute. Until soon.
- June 4, 2020

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June 3, 2020 · via iPhone

FU?k!!!!

I’m so gonna miss you, you friendly, sharp, big hearted beast!! Al you always made me smile. As we would trip-out sometimes, we would laugh at one another and other times at our Kesey-esq situation, when I looked you in the eye, you got it,... more

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June 2, 2020

Alex and I grew up in Lakewood, CO, and no one was ever luckier than me to have a childhood friend like him.

Alex was one of the most brilliant, entertaining people I’ve ever known—a good sport, up for anything, and we spent a lot of time from... moreAlex and I grew up in Lakewood, CO, and no one was ever luckier than me to have a childhood friend like him.

Alex was one of the most brilliant, entertaining people I’ve ever known—a good sport, up for anything, and we spent a lot of time from 4th-9th grade riding bikes all over north Lakewood and dodging mild trouble. The Witherills lived a half-block over from an open lot we called The Swamp—two acres of cattails, scrubby undergrowth, and enormous, 100 year-old cottonwoods, all encircled by the Farmer's Highline irrigation canal—but which was actually a small slice of Heaven. My father had a fully-equipped woodshop so Alex and I would spend weeks crafting variously ridiculous axes, swords, and shields (we were Dungeons & Dragons kids, through and through) before organizing neighborhood-wide "battles" that would consume the better part of a long weekend. Using empty one-gallon milk jugs and plywood, Alex and I also build the heaviest and most un-seaworthy raft of all time—its maiden voyage in the canal lasted all of 20 yards before its fifth or sixth capsize convinced us the project was hopeless.

Alex always knew the cool English bands before anyone else did. Don't know where he found them, but there was no better source for music that made the other kids say "That's really great—who are they?" I didn't meet anyone as attuned to music as Alex was until college and those guys were snobs about it so they don't count. That was Alex's secret: generosity. He didn't hoard secrets or look down at those who weren't in the know—he saw opportunities to bring others up to speed. He wanted to share the things he knew and the things he had in order to help others be their best. Figure he picked that up from his family, Tom, Carole, and Andrea: they never got tired of my near-constant presence in their home and God knows I must've eaten $5,000 worth of the Witherill's groceries over the years (that was in the 1980s, so about $1M in today's dollars).

Getting older resulted in dumber misadventures. In eighth grade, we wanted to ride our bikes from Lakewood to Boulder (about 30 miles) and everything was going great until I blew out a tire crossing Rocky Flats. Instead of hiking back to Arvada (an easy 20 minute drive from my house), we hitched a ride the rest of the way, enjoyed an afternoon on Pearl Street soaking up all weirdness, and then called my dad for a ride back home. Weirdly, my folks weren't all that amused. We had better results in the summer before our sophomore years in high school—in retrospect, the last time we got to spend multiple days together. Alex's mom had a business trip on Colorado's Western Slope, so with my parent's blessing (and as a parent now with kids of nearly the same age as we were then, I think they must've been crazy), she dropped us off at the top of Vail Pass and we backpacked north into the Gore Range Wilderness. Apart from a lightning storm above timberline (we were carrying metal-frame backpacks, too, and felt the hairs on our heads and arms stand up from all the static in the air) and another dumb hitch-hike into Vail for pizza on our last night, it was a fantastic trip. "Skiing" (in tennis shoes) down snowfields, the coldest swim on record, waist-high wildflowers.

Always felt badly that Alex and I drifted into different orbits in our teens, though that was mostly due to attending different schools. One of Alex's greatest skills was making friends everywhere he went—I know he’s left a lot of them heartbroken (but grateful for their memories of him). We talked semi-regularly over the years, trying at least a half-dozen times over the last two to meet up whenever one of us was in the other’s town, but dammit, something always came up and now look...

It took some time to process the news of Alex's passing and while the shock has passed, the sadness never will. More than sadness, though, I feel gratitude and joy for having had Alex in my life for as long as I did. I am better at who I am because of who he was.

Gone far too soon. I miss you, old friend. Go gently into that good night. less

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Andrea Witherill Quinn - this was a gift. Love this pic! Thanks for taking the time to share the old school memories. I'll email you a pic of my son at the swamp last year. MANY memories went down there. Those were fun years. Besides the bedrooms in Escape from Witch... see more
- June 2, 2020
Andrea Witherill cut off for word count - continued, "any of the helpful details. My friend, Quinn, was the real genius - the kind of guy who was able to design an entire house in first grade and who had a vocabulary that had a vocabulary that would make Howard Cosell... see more
- June 2, 2020

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May 30, 2020 · via iPhone

I’ve been running on automatic since hearing about the loss of Alex Witherill a little over a week ago. A devastating loss for all who knew him. Alex was a pillar of strength for me through Ronn’s illness, death and my rebuilding from it. He was the... more

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Andrea Witherill Fantastic photo, Krissy. Thanks for posting it and your loving note. Hope to meet you sometime soon. -Andrea
- May 30, 2020

added 4 photo(s) to the memorial :

May 30, 2020

Andrea Witherill Thanks, Brad. Great shots!
- May 30, 2020

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May 29, 2020

One of the best parts of San Francisco is how this town rewards your attempts to join it. People like Alex make it work.

When we met, you invited me into so many spaces, made me part of the family at SFFILM. We got up to shenanigans right away, raising... more

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May 29, 2020 · via iPhone

Alex, my dear friend of 25 years...
I can’t believe you’re gone. You always joked that it would be an accomplishment to make it to your 50th. Well, you did it.
You crazy, charming you.
You will be missed.

Alex was a fun, party guy to many. Would you... more

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Andrea Witherill "He always ate with such enthusiasm - you knew my brother well. Thanks, Lydia for the shots and the note. -Andrea
- May 30, 2020

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May 29, 2020 · via iPhone

Alex and me at Sun Devil Stadium before the Jumbotron screening of Boots Riley’s Sorry to Bother You. Alex made this event come to life along with his friend, George Rush. They also brought Mr. Riley to campus to do a Q&A with our students, also on the... moreAlex and me at Sun Devil Stadium before the Jumbotron screening of Boots Riley’s Sorry to Bother You. Alex made this event come to life along with his friend, George Rush. They also brought Mr. Riley to campus to do a Q&A with our students, also on the Jumbotron. What can I say... Alex loves big ideas.

Andrea asked me to post what I wrote on FB. It was completely inspired by Alex’s spirit. Even though I still shed tears, I also still feel his mirth, his mischievousness, his brilliant mind, and his loyal soul.

May 12, 2020
I cried today. Surprisingly hard.

My dear friend, Alex Witherill, has apparently passed. At least that’s what it looks like from what I’m seeing on his Facebook page. I can’t find an obit. I can’t even remember why I was going to look at his Facebook page. It’s still hard for me to actually believe this.

From the moment Ted Hope magically introduced us at the San Francisco Film Society, Alex and I became dream partners. He was the validator of my nascent ideas and ENDLESSLY supportive. His own ideas were filled with energy and built on principle.

During the shut in, Alex and I were talking 2-3 times a week. His optimism was boundless, even if he, like all of us, had dour moments. Truth is, I never saw those. He was always positive with me, even during these troubled times.

Alex was as delightful a human being as one will ever meet. Funny, smart, charming, fun – and, as someone else posted, he definitely had some Han Solo in him. But he didn’t just have the rakish rebel gene; Alex also had Solo’s sense of loyalty to his friends and to what’s right. It’s pretty cool having Han Solo backing you up. My world feels emptier and a little scarier without him.

Alex was a deep thinker. He cared about the world. He was passionate about his opinions but always open and eminently reasonable. I just loved talking with that guy. We were pretty sure that, between the two of us, we could solve all the world’s problems.

When I was losing it earlier today, I wondered why, exactly, I was crying. I wanted to know the specific loss. Aside from feeling terrible for Alex’s family and friends, my tears were greedy. I just wanted more time with Alex. Time to enjoy this wonderful person. And I wanted my pal, the guy who let me dream.

We had known each other for 7 years, but he only brought up spirituality to me during these past couple of months. Always the rationalist, any notions of transcendence had to pass his intellectual smell test. But he definitely had notions.

I believe Alex’s spirit lives. less

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Andrea Witherill Thanks, Adam. Great post. - Andrea
- May 30, 2020

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May 29, 2020 · via iPhone

It has been two weeks and I still can’t believe the news. Alex was always so full of life and looking forward to the next adventure. He was the spark for so many fun experiences and shared memories. Plus, there was something about Alex that made him... more

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Andrea Witherill Thanks, Sarah. I love this photo of you both! Appreciate the repost. - Andrea
- May 30, 2020

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May 29, 2020 · via iPhone

I was shocked and broken hearted to hear the devastating news about dear Alex. He was always the magnet in the room, and definitely the one that would back you up in a bar fight. 🙂. (If memory serves, there was a few of those). Such a wonderful... more

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Andrea Witherill Thanks for posting, Terri. - Andrea
- May 30, 2020

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May 29, 2020 · via iPhone

Alex and Carrie Tice, March 2019

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May 29, 2020 · via iPhone

Learning the news of Alex’s passing has left me heartbroken. I will miss my hilarious, kind, handsome, loving friend more than words can convey. He was bigger than life and he cared so much for his friends and family. After being in a car accident... more

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Andrea Witherill Thanks, Carrie. Love these lists! -Andrea
- May 30, 2020

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May 28, 2020 · via iPhone

I am devastated to lose such an amazing person and great friend. Everything was exponentially better with Alex involved. A-Dub will be missed dearly and his legacy will always live on. I am so thankful for all the amazing times we spent together. RIP.

+21

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Andrea Witherill A fantastic set of photos, Rich! Thanks so much for posting. -Andrea
- May 28, 2020
Andrea Witherill Thanks, Rich. Great shots and loving note. Until soon. - Andrea
- May 30, 2020

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May 27, 2020 · via iPhone

It makes me happy to know that I got be in Alex’s company and that I got a lot of his time. I really miss him. He was as splendid as all the posts I’ve read about him.

Andrea asked me to post what I wrote on FB. It was completely inspired by... moreIt makes me happy to know that I got be in Alex’s company and that I got a lot of his time. I really miss him. He was as splendid as all the posts I’ve read about him.

Andrea asked me to post what I wrote on FB. It was completely inspired by Alex’s spirit. Even though I still shed tears, I also still feel his mirth, his mischievousness, his brilliant mind, and his loyal soul.

May 12, 2020
I cried today. Surprisingly hard.

My dear friend, Alex Witherill, has apparently passed. At least that’s what it looks like from what I’m seeing on his Facebook page. I can’t find an obit. I can’t even remember why I was going to look at his Facebook page. It’s still hard for me to actually believe this.

From the moment Ted Hope magically introduced us at the San Francisco Film Society, Alex and I became dream partners. He was the validator of my nascent ideas and ENDLESSLY supportive. His own ideas were filled with energy and built on principle.

During the shut in, Alex and I were talking 2-3 times a week. His optimism was boundless, even if he, like all of us, had dour moments. Truth is, I never saw those. He was always positive with me, even during these troubled times.

Alex was as delightful a human being as one will ever meet. Funny, smart, charming, fun – and, as someone else posted, he definitely had some Han Solo in him. But he didn’t just have the rakish rebel gene; Alex also had Solo’s sense of loyalty to his friends and to what’s right. It’s pretty cool having Han Solo backing you up. My world feels emptier and a little scarier without him.

Alex was a deep thinker. He cared about the world. He was passionate about his opinions but always open and eminently reasonable. I just loved talking with that guy. We were pretty sure that, between the two of us, we could solve all the world’s problems.

When I was losing it earlier today, I wondered why, exactly, I was crying. I wanted to know the specific loss. Aside from feeling terrible for Alex’s family and friends, my tears were greedy. I just wanted more time with Alex. Time to enjoy this wonderful person. And I wanted my pal, the guy who let me dream.

We had known each other for 7 years, but he only brought up spirituality to me during these past couple of months. Always the rationalist, any notions of transcendence had to pass his intellectual smell test. But he definitely had notions.

I believe Alex’s spirit lives. less

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Andrea Witherill Love this tribute. Thanks, Adam!
- May 30, 2020

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