My Ode to Den-Den...
There are a handful of us from a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean that formed a bond more than four decades ago. You all know who you are. Den, I can speak for all of us in that group – your passing this past weekend seriously rocked our world. I wasn’t going to write or post anything because that would mean the news was real and I wasn’t ready to accept it. Even as I spoke with Rubes to confirm the news, nothing she was saying rung true. I was just talking to you on the phone about coming for a visit this week. We sent texts on how easy that drive was going to be. You just texted me the ingredients for that flank steak. WTF, you promised me your fried rice – I was going to cheat on my diet this weekend.

As tears stream down my face writing this, I’m overcome with emotions and memories. Riding bikes in the rain, making forts out of cardboard boxes, weekends at Barber’s Point and Fort Derussy - learning to swim, surf and fish… jumping into Blow Hole every chance we got… all the Easters at Bellows, Saturday night poker parties and the random sleepovers because our parents wanted to go dancing at the Ilikai. Oh, and remember that time at Foster’s Point when you fell off the pier (or did we push you?) – or was that Efren Jr.? We may have formed our bond because of our parents… but we made them last because of our ohana within the ohana.

As we grew up and moved to the mainland, we lived in different cities, went to different high schools – but we always saw each other at some family function at least once a year. Eun reminded me about the time you broke the window at our house in San Diego and when we had that Fender Bender in Del Mar? Good times (maybe not so good for our parents). What about the time we tried to fit 14 people in the Buick that summer when I first got my license – just so we could all go swimming together at my house? It didn’t matter where we lived - we could go months or years without seeing each other but in an instant, we just picked-up where we left off.

But being Bruins and roommates really solidified our ohana. Remember all the times you’d just polish off everyone’s food in the freezer to make some amazing concoction? Oh wait – do you remember your addiction to KOST radio station? You and Jeff – oy vey! But then you moved to the Overland house and stepped it up several notches… oh the stories that house could tell and what about the hundreds of gallons of jungle juice we went through?

This photo brought back so many memories – so many tailgates, so many road trips – all the rival games, maybe a few too many missed classes – the Palace, Florentine Gardens, Hugh Hefner’s house, late nights at Tommys, late lunches at Old World, “merienda” at Diddy Riese, Sunday afternoons at Olvera Street… that Janet Jackson concert and that Air Supply concert, all the Laker games (in Inglewood), Korean karaoke bars on Olympic, trips to Vegas, San Francisco, Mexico, Miami, NYC – oh wait, remember all the ski trips to Big Bear and Tahoe? How about that one when you said I could ski the black diamond slopes at Snow Summit? Remember the moguls and the crushed apples? The list can go on and on, kasinsin… remember Moon’s 30th or was it her 25th?

The three of us – we were the original tres amigos. All the birthdays, weddings, births, baptisms, communions, funerals – you were there. You were there when she suffered a huge loss and needed a shoulder to cry on. You were there when I was so very lost (and went through how many hair styles??). Thank you for helping us through our respective dark years. Our homes and our hearts were there for you when you started your culinary journey and when your heart was broken by a mean girl. Remember “the Canadian” and “room temperature girl”?

Thank you for telling mom and dad that Brian was the one. Thank you for explaining our ohana to him (before I even knew he needed to know). Thank you for starting the tradition of singing original songs on each other’s birthdays. I remember the very first one. I remember that we made sure those songs went to voicemail so we could play them over and over again. I looked forward to hearing your original birthday serenades every year – the best was the one to the tune of “I’m bringing sexy back”. Who will sing to me in June?

I know you knew how much I loved you… how much WE loved you. And we know how much you loved us. You were never afraid to show us or tell us. I think that’s what we loved most about you. You wore your heart on your sleeve and you never held back. I will miss that. Those who have written about you speak of your infectious laugh, your welcoming smile, your friendship, your generosity and your love of life… they were right – you were ALL of that. But what I will always remember is your capacity to love and your willingness to lay it all out there in your search for that perfect love. I hope you knew that you always had that perfect love… IN YOU. And we felt it every day.

I’ll end my ode to you with a snippet from one of your favorite bands and one of your favorite karaoke picks “… and I'll take with me the memories, to be my sunshine after the rain… it's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday…” I love you ading… I am your SHMATTY forever...