I've loved you since we dated in our 20s and you've remained in my heart since. I'm grateful we were able to stay in touch over the years. I'm so grateful we were able to see each other in the flesh last year, thanks to Tool bringing us together again. You looked so happy and it felt so great to see. I loved your passion for music and how similar our tastes were. A few weeks ago, you called me and told me you were in love with me and asked what we were going to do about that. You had no problem sharing your feelings without filter and you had me laughing constantly. You considered moving here but we agreed on several visits because being near your dad meant so much to you. You had so much love, adoration and respect for your dad. Our next trip was going to be in July where we planned to stay at a haunted hotel in Jerome and visit Caduceus Cellars followed by the Megadeth show in Phoenix. That would have been a week to remember. I Just tearfully canceled the hotel reservation and I'm probably going to have to take my gay brother to Megadeth with me (ugh - THANKS A LOT!!!). Your profile on my Hulu read Bada$$MFer so I'd start my tv watching sessions with a smile. I had almost grown accustomed to you disappearing a couple of days and coming back healthy, but when your phone died most recently, my heart sank....and then broke. I'm still having a hard time realizing this is permanent. I've said it to you before and I'll say it just one last tearful time - May all that was reduced to noise in you, become music again.