MEMORIES OF CAROLYN JEANNE RUTTENBERG STEINBERG
My heart broke when I heard of Carolyn Ruttenberg’s passing. I loved Carolyn dearly from my earliest memories. Her angelic voice, her sweet loving nature, her wonderful sense of humor, and her loyal friendship, are memories of her that I will always cherish. This might be long but it is far from complete.
Carolyn and I were friends as kids and then again as adults after a few years’ hiatus. When we re-connected in LA post-college, Carolyn introduced me to my first husband and the father of my daughter, Eric Ahlberg.

So add eternal gratitude to my cherished feelings for Carolyn.

My remembrance of Carolyn starts quite early.

I was a toddler when I first met Carolyn, around 4 years old I think. My father Bob Caraway, and her father Herb Ruttenberg were friends at Washington University Medical School in St Louis, and had reconnected years later on the UCLA campus, just by chance. They were both married by then and each already had four daughters. Carolyn’s mom, whom I called “Aunt Diane” became one of my mom’s best friends for the rest of her life. Carolyn’s dad was “Uncle Herb.” My parents were given similar monikers by Carolyn and her sisters Julie, Kathleen, and Loretta. Our parents regularly got their respective sets of 4 daughters together for play dates when we all lived in Los Angeles. Uncle Herb would tease Carolyn with, "Carolyn Jeanne is a green bean." She was such a daddy's girl!

The Ruttenbergs lived in Studio City to be exact. somehow that seemed a glamorous place to me. I remember our visits to that house. It backed up against a hillside and sometimes we found tarantulas. That made it scary too, which was cool. I can recall playing with Carolyn at that house as little girls, although dimly. What is a strong memory is that I loved Carolyn dearly from those early days.

When the family moved to Salt Lake City, Carolyn and I became pen pals. (I must locate the dozens of letters we sent to each other.) Once the Ruttenberg family moved, my family visited them in Utah every spring break. We would spend 10 fabulous days skiing at the local ski areas like snowbird and Alta and Park City. At night, we “California girls” would have fun with the SLC locals who were the friends of our hostesses. I will not share any details of that fun – we were just kids, ok?

Anyway, my whole adolescence, I looked forward to those spring break ski trips in Salt Lake City every single year. Having read some of the memories other friends posted, I’m pretty sure Carolyn and I skied with you at Snowbird or Alta or Brighton or ? Do you remember me? Now I really have to find those letters because I know we shared about Carolyn’s close friends in SLC!

Picture this: a group of 6 or 8 teenage girls skiing together and having to pass through a tight chute. Major pile-up, much giggling, and possibly some orthopedic injuries, not sure. There I was, lying in the snow, tangled with legs and skis, laughing so hard I cried. Carolyn had great friends and lots of them. I’m happy to see so many remembering her well, as I do.

So going to Utah every spring break wasn’t just a great adventure, it meant I got to be with my friend Carolyn.

In exchange for our visits in the spring, the Ruttenbergs would visit us in LA for the 4th of July. They had other relatives in California they visited, but would always spend a few days with us for the 4th. These visits were the highlight of my summers because again, my bestie Carolyn was coming to visit!

My parents’ home has a pool and good-size yard. There were the boy versus girl splash fights in the pool, and fiercely battled badminton games every summer. Carolyn could hold her own just fine, thank you!

Whether we were together in the summer or for spring break, or penning letters to each other, Carolyn and I spent many happy hours talking about boys, and, um, well, mostly boys. Most of my friends who were boys who got to meet Carolyn crushed on her. Can we talk about that purple string bikini? She was so gorgeous!

Carolyn's voice was liquid light and sheer heaven. Her gift for song was one of the greatest things about her. She always had a guitar in her arms. I loved listening to her. I loved the songs that she wrote. I wish I had a recording now. (Does anyone have a recording of her?) I can still hear her even after all these years.

Carolyn and I lost touch for a few years between high school and college. But like our dads, we reconnected in LA. We immediately began hanging out. That meant that Loretta, Kathleen and Julie all were back in our lives, which was completely awesome.
It was during this time that Carolyn introduced me to Eric Ahlberg, my first husband and father of my amazing daughter Caitlin Ahlberg. That was the greatest gift a friend could give. (There is a Jewish saying that contradicts that which I will get to.) That was 1983. I fell in love with Eric and we married on June 29, 1984.

Carolyn sang at our wedding. It was on the sand at Trancas Beach, California. As you can see in the photo, Carolyn is standing on the upper right side in a yellow dress with her guitar. Angelic!

Eric and I will post more photos of Carolyn here as we find them. That was a long time before scanners.

Those mid-80s were a really wonderful time in my friendship with Carolyn. Eric joined Carolyn's band and they performed in Santa Monica on a regular basis. Of course I was a regular in the audience. I also got to enjoy many rehearsals, and fun Sunday jam sessions.

I don't know how to describe Carolyn's band in those days. (Eric can do a better job I'm sure.) Carolyn Ruttenberg and Company. Great name, right? They performed a combination of Carolyn's originals, maybe one or two of Eric's originals, some covers of popular songs, and some great jazz. Carolyn on vocals and keyboards. Eric played the bass. Todd Trager, a phenomenally talented guitarist, was a staunch member of the band. Forgive me for not remembering the other members. But Carolyn was the star of the show. I think Eric found some fliers for a couple shows so look for those from him.

It was exciting to see Carolyn get the job at UCLA in the music archives because that was so close to her soul. Then she met Spencer and everything changed. I had never seen her so in love before. Their wedding was one of the loveliest weddings I've ever attended. Spencer and Hilary, I am so sorry for your loss!

Sadly, Carolyn and I became distant and over the last years had only been in communication on Facebook. I know that she struggled with a lot of health issues. Both Aunt Diane and Uncle Herb passed, as did Julie. So much loss and suffering for Carolyn, Kathleen, and Loretta!

I never got to know Hillary but perhaps it is not too late. I hope to stay in contact with Loretta and Kathleen both of whom have remained lifelong friends. I so appreciate both of them attending the celebration of my mother’s life in November 2018.

Learning of Carolyn's passing hurts deeply. She had a beautiful heart, a soaring voice, and was one of the best friends of my life.

The world has lost another bright light but heaven has received another angel. God bless you Carolyn. I hope you are at peace, pain free, and singing.