Bernie Feldstein

October 29, 2021

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October 29, 2021

I have been searching for my most beloved cousins for years. Only just now did I find Bernie's obituary and I am so sad I could not have found him and Barbara well before they had died. I just wanted to thank them for being there for me in my youth when... more

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September 27, 2021

Cathy Schereschewsky-I was a mixed up kid when Temporaries, Inc. sent me to Whitney Attwood Norcross. I'd recently completed Katy Gibbs' Options program while still in the throes of mourning my father and brother. I was 25 I think. Bernie was my real... moreCathy Schereschewsky-I was a mixed up kid when Temporaries, Inc. sent me to Whitney Attwood Norcross. I'd recently completed Katy Gibbs' Options program while still in the throes of mourning my father and brother. I was 25 I think. Bernie was my real boss. I was the only secretary and aside from regular tasks, it was my job to transcribe his tapes from site visits. I can easily call up his voice and laugh as I look at his picture here.

My favorite story of the time was Bernie's handling of my first Thanksgiving as a nine to fiver. Wednesday at closing time, I was excited about meeting my brother for the drive back to Connecticut. "Goodnight, Bernie...see you on Monday!" He said, "You mean Friday..." "Oh ha ha Bernie. You're so funny!" "No, Cath, see you on Friday." "What??" "Yes. Welcome to life after school," he chuckled. "Friday," he re-iterated with his smile going a little less bright. I'm sure he thought I'd get it, that there was no more to discuss. "But, but...I have plans!!" Bernie's smile turned to a look of concern. I would guess he was probably annoyed that he had to make a choice between being a boss who needed me to be there on Friday and wanting to be nice to this kid. My eyes welled up and spilled over...Bernie sighed. He let me take the day off.

I spent my time in Connecticut dogged by the shame of not having known that school schedules hadn't counted for me since I dropped out of college my first semester. Lesson one from Bernie.

Lesson 2. I'd gone to a party on Sunday night. Monday morning I was hungover and exhausted. Bernie could probably smell alcohol fumes coming off me as soon as I came in the door. He did an amazingly effective father lecture, out of the earshot of everyone in the office, and sent me home. I would never make that mistake again.

Bernie as a boss could be formidable and demanding but for the most part he was a big hearted man with a great sense of humor and one who asked nothing of the people around him in the office that he didn't expect of himself. I feel fortunate to have worked for him when I did. I will never forget him. less

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August 13, 2021

From Uncle Marty:

I am sitting here shocked and saddened. 2020 already a terrible year but this seems almost unbearable. I know he had heart issues but somehow he seemed vital and mentally strong.

Bear with me, I need to share some... moreFrom Uncle Marty:

I am sitting here shocked and saddened. 2020 already a terrible year but this seems almost unbearable. I know he had heart issues but somehow he seemed vital and mentally strong.

Bear with me, I need to share some thoughts on how important Bernie was to my life. When I first meet Bernie, I was a high schooler learning that picking my nose was not a feature attractive to girls. My entire focus was school work, sports, and futile efforts to meet girls. From the first time I met him to the last time I talked to him, Bernie was an extraordinary person—- brilliant, a wonderful sense of humor, and most importantly possessing an understanding of the injustices in the world. I was basically oblivious to the world beyond Suffolk Square. But Bernie’s social conscience had a perceptible, albeit slow acting, impact on me.

When he met Barbara, Bernie was a self confident non-religious Jew and proud of the non-religion --perhaps self confidence and anti religion to a fault. I was against organized religion because it interfered with baseball and basketball on Saturdays. His objection was based on principle and thoughtful analysis. You see a difference in depth and insight. He moved into our house — exactly what you would expect NOT to fit in with the Schneiderman orthodox household. Barbara was a perfect match -- smart, reasonably deferential, social, loved to laugh, and kind. But how would our family dynamic mesh with Bernie. To my surprise, the relationships started off a little awkwardly but soon blossomed into ones of true love and admiration. Bernies loved and was loved by my folks. He enriched the lives of my mother and father.

In the next phase of life, Bernie again demonstrated a rare character trait -- an unusual commitment to family. This is a quality that I primarily witnessed from a distance but I was still in awe of his tireless devotion to family life. You are the children that are not surprisingly the grand result of that devotion to family. This is quality of Bernie’s that I admired but could not emulate and, but for Lenore, my kids not be the wonderful people they are today.

By focusing in on family life, I do not want overlook the fact that he contributed mightily to his profession. It is no surprise that he was a talented architect. But the telling and distinctive characteristic was his high ethical standards as well as the way he always treated his partners, clients, and those who worked for his firm with integrity and generosity.

I was going to say that I am at a loss of words to express my sadness, but apparently not. I know I have mentioned this before. I know that before Barbara’s death I did not keep in contact with the Feldstein family as much as I should have, my loss. I was involved in dealing with immediate professional challenges and family events. Sometimes out of sight, out of mind – a poor excuse but a reality. However, the visits with the Feldstein family during the time of Barbara’s passing made me realize that physical distance could no longer excuse a personal and real connection. I have made it a resolution—a rewarding one—to remain as close as the distance would permit and it is that connection that makes this time even harder to accept.

Lenore and I loved Bernie and will miss him. We look forward to a time that we can hug and cry together. less

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September 18, 2020

Bernie was an invaluable resource to Newton’s Horace Mann Elementary School as Mike and I and others advocated for extensive renovations to Horace Mann (Mike’s school and workplace). Although we met just a handful of times from November 2019 through... more

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September 6, 2020

FROM ANDREA KELLEY

My heart broke when I heard that Bernie had passed away. He was the Chair of Newton's Design Review Committee when I first met him, and the best chair ever. 30+ years later and I'm still on that d---ed committee! In that role, he was... more

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September 6, 2020

FROM TINA - The 5th member of our family

A Guardian Angel that Lit my Darkest Path

Almost every day of our lives, we make risky decisions. Deciding to immigrate to a new country leaving the life I had built and my family in Africa has been the... moreFROM TINA - The 5th member of our family

A Guardian Angel that Lit my Darkest Path

Almost every day of our lives, we make risky decisions. Deciding to immigrate to a new country leaving the life I had built and my family in Africa has been the chanciest decision in my life. Like most immigrants, I was prepared to live through the toughest time of my life while I started out on this journey in American. Little did I know that God’s plan was for me to find a guardian angel who I would later call my father, my friend, my everything. Mr. Bernie Feldstein. To him, I was a seed that he planted on earth and watered with lots of love to grow and blossom so that it could smile at others and get a smile in return.
Mr. Bernie and I met in the summer of 2004 on Craigslist through which he contacted me and invited me for an interview that took place at Starbucks in Newtonville. On the drive to the interview, I was calm and ready for the interview. As I walked to the table, I saw a straight-faced gentleman with a round face and neatly coiffed grey hair. I could feel the muscles in stomach start to tighten, my legs becoming heavy with each step, and my forehead start to sweat. When I arrived at the table, I introduced myself to him. He stood up and he introduced himself, greeted me and offered me a sit. “Don’t be nervous, loosen up, this is going to be a causal conservation,” he said because he could see I was timid and had sweat drops on my forehead. He offered me coffee, instead I asked for water because I do not drink coffee. Through the interview, he told different stories, jokes and laughed to calm me down. He also asked varied questions about my origins, my previous employers and my experience both on the job and in America. At the end of the interview, he asked me to start work the following week on Monday and that I drive behind him so I could see my new place of work. I soon concluded that, Mr. Bernie was a high spirited, well-informed and good judge of character.
When I reported to work the following week, he warmly welcomed me and introduced me to his wife Barbara. Then he showed me around the house and gave me details of what I needed to do and how to do it. At the end of the first week, Mr. Bernie and Barbara were going to Cape Cod, so he asked whether I would join them. “I need to prepare myself for the trip, I will meet you on Cape Cod,” I said. Later that day he asked whether I knew where the Cape was and how I was going to get there. I asked for the address and told him that my brother would drop me of because I had not started driving. This was my first trip out of Boston, I was scared because I did not know what to expect when I got to Cape Cod. I came to learn that this is popular summertime destination for many families and I sincerely enjoyed myself that trip. In my first few weeks on the job, I realized that Mr. Bernie and Barbara were pleasant people, full of love, laughter and I was going to love working for them. He also introduced me to his children, Mike, Vickie, his grandsons and the rest of the family all of whom are welcoming and as loving as him. At mealtime, I would prepare food and serve them at the table and go back to the kitchen to eat my food. On the second attempt of doing this, Mr. Bernie said to me “Tina, I was raised in a family where we all sat at the table to eat irrespective of whether you were the boss or an employee at home. I expect you to sit and eat with us at the dining table.” I quickly abided, but the most part of me wondered what kind of boss and family God had led me to.
A couple of months later, Barbara departed this life and I went through the grieving period with Mr. Bernie and his family. In the process of planning to find a new home and get back into the job market, Mr. Bernie sat me down and said “Tina, I do understand that God has called Barbara and you are looking for a new home and job. Thank you for taking care of Barbara and making her life easy, you have become part of this family and this is your home until God calls me. I will help you with the job search when the need arises, but as soon the contract ends, you will come back home”. I was taken aback and overwhelmed with joy and happiness because I could not believe what he had just said to me, like a true African woman I started weeping tears of joy and I knelt to thank Mr. Bernie. This conversation just proved to me that some people’s love and care does come from deep inside their hearts. Saying that I knelt to thank God is an understatement, I praised and worshipped God for the better part of the night because through Mr. Bernie, he gave me a home and a family to belong to in this foreign land. Not only did Mr. Bernie accept me into his family, Mike, Vickie and the rest of the family also welcomed and treated me the same way. I am always invited to family gatherings, events, luncheons and dinners.
Like a father, he helped find me jobs and always referring me to many of his friends every time I was back in the job market. From working for him to my current job, it was through him that I got all my jobs. Between each wait, he did not hesitate to teach me the dos and don’ts of America and show me how to go about living independently. I recall the first time for my first Live out job, I had to take the bus. The day before I started work, he drove me to the bus stop, told me which bus I had to take and showed me where to insert the card when I got onto the bus. He taught me to be patient and always wear a genuine smile even through the difficult jobs, because it is only a steppingstone in your career and all difficult situations come to pass. I believe I have made and continue to make him proud because I always work to the best of my ability and go beyond the call of duty. While I was moving in between jobs, he asked me to start working on obtaining a green card and advised me to buy American history books. Every night he would help me study and revise in preparation for the interview.
In autumn of 2006, a malignant tumor grew on my young son Ian’s left cheek and as we were planning to transfer him to another country to start treatment, he departed this life. Losing my son was very devastating, I did not know what to do or where to start. I wondered whether I should return home for son’s burial and be with the rest of my family, but this would imperil my immigration process and the very reason I made the decision to immigrate. Mr. Bernie calmed me down and asked what I needed to do and how he could help me. I mentioned to him that in my culture when a family member passes on, a vigil is held at their place of residence for a few days for the family and friends to comfort the bereaved. He allowed me to hold the vigil at home so my sister Harriet travelled from the UK to join me as well as my in-laws who lived in New York at the time and a few friends who could travel to be with me. Mr. Bernie was very hospitable to family, my friends and me, he welcomed everyone, was warm to us and even spent time with us talking and getting to know everyone that came. He was well informed, intelligent and knew how to get and keep people’s attention, he knew how to start and hold a conversation with people from different walks of life.
In 2008 I started a new job working for Professor Meyer one of Mr. Bernie’s friends. The first day I reported to work, Mr. Bernie called Prof. Meyer and they had a long chat over the phone. On the second night after I was all settled in and we had finished having dinner, Prof. Meyer called me to his study and asked me whether I had carried my American history books with me. I told him that I did because I needed to continue studying for the green card interview, he asked me to go pick the books so we could start the study session. Before this conversation, I had not mentioned to him that I was preparing to go for my green card interview, but it occurred to me that Mr. Bernie must have mentioned the study sessions we were having and requested Prof. Meyer to continue assisting me. How selfless could Mr. Bernie be, he took interest in my career and immigration process even when I was at work, far away from him. After a few more weeks of studying and revision I did go to the interview and I aced it, thanks to Mr. Bernie and Prof. Meyer. Unfortunately, the sickness took a toll on Prof. Meyer’s life and God eventually called him.
This time the search for another job took longer than expected, but I took on part-time jobs to continue earning a living. One night, Mr. Bernie sat me down for another chat about life in America, this time the focus was on the need for me to start applying for citizenship to fully naturalize because the green card was only the first step of my immigration process and in the greater scheme of things it meant nothing. After a few months of searching, I finally got a live-in job to work for Mr. Herpe in 2011. While on this job, I met Mr. Donovan’s daughters Nancy and Patty and their families who welcomed me and treated me like I was one of them. We grew very close and we are now like sisters. Mr. Bernie would check on me everyday to see how I was doing because I was far, and I would go every Saturday to see him, even to go out for lunches before going back to work the same day. Nonetheless, the distance did not stop us from proceeding with the immigration process and eventually I became a naturalized American Citizen.
Most of the long-term jobs Mr. Bernie connected to were live-in jobs. My sister, Harriet and my daughter, Gloria visit me often while they are on vacation, he advised me not to take time off work. He knew that work was important to me and I needed to take the leave days when I travel back to Uganda to visit my family. For all their visits, he would ask me for their itineraries to plan for them to be picked up from the airport. He offered to: show them around Boston, take Gloria for her interviews and take them for lunch with his family and friends. He often said he enjoyed having them around and was looking forward to the next time either one of them would visit. He loved and cared for my family like they were his own and entertained them like they were his guests.
This year when COVID-19 started, he started having both his work and family meetings via Zoom and he said that every night, I should be the last person to call him at 21h00 to tack him into bed even though we used to check on each other during the day. Sometimes, my client would take a while to go to bed so I would send Mr. Bernie a message to let him know that I was still working, to my surprise he was still awake waiting for my call. I have had to limit the number of times I leave the house due the nature of my job and Mr. Bernie was aware of this. Concerned for my wellbeing, he asked me whether I needed any groceries and I told him no, I have enough groceries to take me through a couple of weeks. But he knew, he knew I was not telling the truth because I did not want to inconvenience him. Whenever he went shopping at the Stop & Shop, he would buy me groceries and delivery them to my workplace. With all that is happening right now, he was still very kind, selfless and caring.
I last saw Mr. Bernie on Sunday 19 July when he returned from Cape Cod. After putting my client to bed at about 20h00, I told my boss Mr. Finn that I was going to help Mr. Bernie clean the apartment and put away the clothes and food he brought from the Cape. This was the last time I saw Mr. Bernie, he looked very happy, was lively and made a lot of jokes, little did I know that this would be the last time we speak in person. On Tuesday morning I got a missed call from Vickie, but I had to attend to my client, so I planned to call her back later. When I took a break from work, I called Mr. Bernie on both his mobile phone and house phone but I could not get a hold of him. I tried to call Mike, but I could not get a hold of him either, so I tried Amy, Mike’s wife. Amy finally broke the news to me, and my world came to a standstill. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach, my legs started trembling, tears of sorrow started running down my cheeks and I started wailing. All I could think of at the time was to call a few colleagues to ask one of them to sit in for me so I could join my family. At 18h00 my colleague arrived, and I went to Mike’s house to be the family and see how I could help. It was a very sad day, but the entire family was very strong and thankful for the life that Mr. Bernie led. Mike told me that Mr. Bernie said when God called him, I will still be part of the family and he would be happy for me to move in with Mike and his family.
On that day Mike (Mr. Bernie’s Son) told me that, Tina this is your new home. It’s where my father wishes you to be. Later he showed me my bedroom “which was already prepared for me.” I shook my head, I was overwhelmed with happiness and tears. I thanked God In so many ways for this family.
In the same spirit, Vickie told me to reach out to her if I needed help with anything in my life. Indeed, the apple does not fall far from the tree, Mike and Vickie have continued caring, loving and supporting me like Mr. Bernie did. My family was saddened to hear the passing of Mr. Bernie because he has been so kind to my family and me.
Mr. Bernie did not discriminate against anyone, he accepted me into his family as I am. He and his family have loved me from the bottom of their hearts and not because they had to. To this day I have never stopped asking myself why Mr. Bernie and his family have been so kind to me. I am so thankful to God for this family and I am grateful for all that they have done and continue to do for my family and me. I could write a book about the kindness, selflessness, and love that Mr. Bernie showed me and all the life lessons he taught me. In his memory, I will continue to work to the best of my ability and go beyond the call of duty to always keep his memory alive and fly the flag high like I have always done.
I still find myself breaking down on my knees crying for him. I miss him badly, he come part of me.
May He R.I.P.

“Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal” Unknown less

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September 4, 2020

Bernie's contributions to public school design and construction stretches back decades. I first worked with him on Brookline Public School projects in the last century and came to rely on his wisdom and good judgment in making decisions in the best... more

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September 3, 2020

We were shocked when we heard of Bernie's passing. He was our nextdoor neighbor for the last 5 years. We loved him and we will miss him. Gail and Arnie Rosenberg

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August 25, 2020

I am very sad and feel so fortunate to have known and worked with Bernie. I serve on the Massachusetts School Building Authority Designer Selection Panel which Bernie chaired. I am the only female architect on the panel and admired his leadership. He... more

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August 18, 2020

I'm disappointed that I never got to meet Bernie, but I feel that I knew him a bit. Through my friendship with Vickie and Dennis, knowing his grandsons Nate and Will and of course the stories - his generosity, kindness, intelligence and caring are... more

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August 17, 2020 · via iPad

The world feels a lot smaller without Bernie. It was such a shock to hear about his passing, as Stuart had been in touch with him just the previous week in a Romeo Zoom. It was a shock, too, because it felt like he would always be here, always ready to... more

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August 11, 2020

FROM BENEDETTO PUCCIO

I am crushed at the news of Bernie's death. One of my oldest friends, dating back to Cooper Union in 1953 and continuing in various iterations during those 67 years. Mostly phone calls, an occasional email, but we always... more

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August 11, 2020

FROM GEORGE DAKIN:

Bernie passed...............
When I heard the news, my world stopped. I needed to take some deep breaths, let it out and let it in, then I sighed. Immediately, my mind started racing through the many years of my relationship with this... more

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August 7, 2020

FROM DAVID CAVANAUGH

Bernie loved a good time and he was enthusiastic about hearing a good joke and he never lost his joy at having fun. It is with these in mind that I share this story with you. It was Michael’s birthday and Amy wanted to surprise... moreFROM DAVID CAVANAUGH

Bernie loved a good time and he was enthusiastic about hearing a good joke and he never lost his joy at having fun. It is with these in mind that I share this story with you. It was Michael’s birthday and Amy wanted to surprise him. She decided that I should join Gabe, Jesse and Bernie for a small party and cake. After arriving at Michael and Amy’s house we were instructed to hide up on the third floor in the T.V. room until Michael came home. The plan was that Amy would lure Michael upstairs and we would yell surprise and we would all have cake. At the time (I say with some caution) Amy wasn’t a sophisticated party planner. There would be no balloons, noise-makers, no birthday cards and no presents. She had planned for weeks to have the perfect party. All this would be fine with Michael as he was not big on parties or surprises.

Now, back to where Bernie enters the story. Everyone, all four of us, were gathered in the upstairs T.V. room. Gabe and Jesse were about 6 and 8 years old. Bernie and I were at some age, let’s just say we were both young, muscular and handsome. As often happens, Michael was late, very late coming home from a meeting. It soon became obvious that the boys (this includes Bernie) were becoming restless and they were not able to sit silently in the dark. After a period of much restlessness Bernie decided that everyone needed a job. So, we were all given the task of coming up with a word that we could yell when Michael came into the room. Soon, everyone was yelling out words we could use. Bernie had turned our wait time into a screaming, yelling and jumping session on the couch and chairs. Seeing the need to regain control of the group Bernie had everyone settle down because he had another important task for us to do. There was continued wrestling to see who, Gabe or Jesse, could sit in Bernie’s lap.

The assignment was to decide where we would hide so that we could jump out and yell. All kinds of suggestions were made including behind the couch and in the closet. Then, with a stroke of lightening Gabe had one come to him. His idea was to cover our faces with a pillow and that way Michael wouldn’t know who we were or maybe he wouldn’t even know someone was there. There were giggles and then outright laughter.

Once again, Bernie would take charge. He noticed that Gabe’s feelings were being hurt, he couldn’t figure out why everyone was laughing. Bernie settled us down and explained that he thought using the pillows was a great idea. He was always the loving and supportive grandfather. After regaining our somewhat sense of calm and having had a quick lesson in how to support a family member we went back to sitting in silence in the dark. We didn’t have to wait long for Michael to come home. This was much welcomed as the sshh! and SSHH! Calls were getting louder.

Michael came home, we tried to surprise him and Amy served up birthday cake. I share this story because Bernie never lost the “little boy inside him” always up for a joke and always up for a laugh. I am sure that you are wondering which place we decided to hide. We, of course, decided to hold pillows over our faces, after all, it was the best idea. It turned out to be quite a memorable and somewhat sophisticated party. And….., by the way, the word that we chose to yell was SURPRISE! less

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August 7, 2020

What a shock to learn of his passing. He was such a fixture to the architectural community. Chairing two Designer Selection Panels for many years, and then continuing as the chair of the MSBA DSP for longer than any of us can remember. He was fair,... more

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Christine V reacted on this.

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August 4, 2020

We didn't know Bernie, but we were lucky enough to spend the past year working with his grandson, Jesse. We send our condolences to the entire Feldstein family and our gratitude to Bernie for all he did to advance justice in his lifetime.

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August 3, 2020

I served on the MSBA Designer Selection Panel under Bernie's leadership for years. I don’t think the job of Chair could possibly have been done better than Bernie did it. He was really funny. And really serious. Very opinionated; and very open... more

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Christine V reacted on this.

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August 2, 2020

We were lucky enough to have known Bernie for decades. Neither of us can think of any of our friend's fathers who developed independent relationships with, but Bernie was so irresistible and original that we appreciated him for more than giving us... more

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August 1, 2020 · via iPhone

My times with Bernie were but a handful but each very memorable. He and I originally connected while I was attempting to scoop Dennis on the latest happenings of the OJ trial. I had not yet met Bernie and while I expected he would think me a fool, I had... more

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July 31, 2020

Bernie was one of those men "who no one could ever say a bad word about" a direct quote from the condolences he and Barbara sent to our family when Irv passed away.
Recently, July 19th , (2 days before his death) I was chatting with my grandson... more

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July 30, 2020

FROM KAREN MYERS FALLON:

Bernie was in my life way before I was born... His wife (Barbara) and my mum (Rosalie Myers) were best friends since childhood. I can't remember a time that the Feldsteins were not in our lives. They were what we called "family... moreFROM KAREN MYERS FALLON:

Bernie was in my life way before I was born... His wife (Barbara) and my mum (Rosalie Myers) were best friends since childhood. I can't remember a time that the Feldsteins were not in our lives. They were what we called "family friends" and by that it meant we automatically had to be friends with their children, Michael and Vicki .. I was between them in age. Vicki I looked up to , she is kind and brilliant .. and Michael , well he was very tall and an excellent swimmer and is a lot like Bernie, by that I mean FUNNY. They were so hysterical together and usually played off one another. I remember years ago being at their house in Newton and they were moving a piece of furniture out of the house or that was the goal, it was more of a comedy routine but most things were like that with Bernie. We spent so many summers with them in radio city in the cape.. and one summer all the parents gave Michael the job of teaching me how to dive. At the end of the two weeks he said I just had to come to terms with the fact that I would never dive .. 😞 Maybe Bernie told him to say that!

Last year I had lunch with Bernie and it was if no years had passed.. he was exactly the same, funny and smart and never seemed to be in a rush to go anywhere, by that I mean he had a quiet confidence that was wonderful to be around. He made you feel comfortable. My husband is friends with Michael which makes me happy so we will still have that Feldstein connection . My mum up until this week spoke to Bernie every morning. Because there is nothing as wonderful as family friends that stay in you lives forever not because they are forced to be but because you want them to be. Jesse take care and although this is so sad, focus on how amazing it was for you to have had Bernie in your life.. that is what I am going to think about and smile. He was truly one of the most special people I have ever met..Brilliant, Funny and Generous doesn't usually come together... thankfully for us it did once and his name was Bernie Feldstein. less

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July 30, 2020

FROM HARRY WOLF:
I am stunned, and saddened, and happy to remember your Dad.

Bernie and I met in about 1958 at MIT in the class of that great architect and teacher Eduardo Catalano, about whom we would secretly laugh at our joint invention of his... moreFROM HARRY WOLF:
I am stunned, and saddened, and happy to remember your Dad.

Bernie and I met in about 1958 at MIT in the class of that great architect and teacher Eduardo Catalano, about whom we would secretly laugh at our joint invention of his "Three E's of Architecture" - Espace, Estructure and Escale - in his famous Argentine accent.

This gives you a sense of the mutual sense of humor we shared which quickly evolved into a deep and lasting friendship.

I loved the education I, a boy from North Carolina, gained from this Brooklyn kid. When I suggested we get a cup of coffee, Bernie would say - "and?" Puzzled I replied "what do you mean? He," You can't just have a coffee- it has to be 'coffee and'; coffee and a bagel, coffee and a bialy, there is no such thing as just coffee."...and I learned.

One day a group of us from the class - Ralph Dopmeyer who rode his finely bred Italian motorcycle with its thimble sized cylinders operating to a high whine at seemingly thousands of rpm; intense and moody John Newman who probably was a sculptor at heart, delighting in making brazed metal objects. Others whose names are lost in memory. Anything we could do to procrastinate on our intended studies - we were exchanging information about our past and Bernie said, "my father was a Painter! You know, not a Painter, but a Painter-Painter!" and we got it! His responses were blazingly fast- whatever the subject, always humor laced and au courant on current happenings in the news and particularly politics.

I spent many evenings at dinner at the Cambridge apartment with Bernie and Barbara, and after dinner we often watched TV together from the bed - the only TV in the apartment, and I don't think I had one in my apt. Many times I would awaken with a start to discover that not only had I fallen asleep but they were also a-snooze and the TV blank screen hissing with just electronic snow. Quietly I would let myself out.

Then there was the night when Barbara, pregnant with you, said to Bernie, "I think its time" (to go to the hospital). The always calm Bernie was suddenly a mess, super nervous. We piled into the vintage VW - a Beetle in that era had two gas tanks and a manual toggle switch under the dash to go from one to the other. Zipping thru the dark streets of Cambridge abruptly the engine began to cough and sputter. In a panicked state Bernie said, "oh no we're out of gas!" Calm and cool Barbara said- "Bernie, switch the tank." - and he did and smoothly we went on and you arrived that night!

We helped each other with the execution of drawing on our theses. He used to laugh telling the story of how, after tedious hours spent stippling my site (making microscopic dots to create a tone and texture to represent a grassed area on this mammoth drawing - remember all pre computer) , taking great care to space all dots equidistant from each other- he proudly showed me the result of his labors - to which I said - unaware of his pains-taking efforts - " too even, add some more dots so it is not so bland", he could have killed me!

Time and geography separated us but we were in touch trading calls, not many but once a year maintained the tie. The calls were always filled with laughs between ranting at the mad political world.

He was a special person and a dear friend and I shall miss him.

My love to you and yours,
Harry (hwolf@wolfarc.com) less

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July 29, 2020

I met Bernie in the late 50's early 50's at the start of our respective careers, he as an architect and I as a structural engineer, Eventually, Bernie's firm, WAN, became one of my clients. In Vickie and Mike's description of Bernie, they lrft out one... more

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July 29, 2020

Last week, I suddenly lost a lifelong friend in my grandfather, Bernie Feldstein. He was 84.

Bernie was a devoted grandfather. He retired early from a career in architecture to help care for Gabe and me. As young kids, we enjoyed sleepovers filled with... moreLast week, I suddenly lost a lifelong friend in my grandfather, Bernie Feldstein. He was 84.

Bernie was a devoted grandfather. He retired early from a career in architecture to help care for Gabe and me. As young kids, we enjoyed sleepovers filled with stories and full breakfast spreads. Growing up, he was a stalwart in the stands at our hockey and baseball games. And as we reached young adulthood, his support took the form of life lessons which we carry today. Put simply, his commitment to family knew no bounds.

Bernie was a gregarious friend and colleague. He enjoyed nothing more than spending his days over long lunches with friends and schmoozing at the gym. When he led business meetings, he valued others’ input while displaying confidence and thoughtfulness. Indeed, up until yesterday, he volunteered as the Chairman of a panel to select school designers in the Commonwealth. Outside of work, his biting wit led to many laughs. A few years ago, shortly after a 22-hour quadruple bypass surgery, a nurse asked Bernie where he was from. His response while recovering from anesthesia, “I’m from Flirt-Land.” At a slice shop, a cashier once asked Bernie if he had anything smaller than a $100 bill. After taking out every single bill in his wallet, Bernie remarked “Nope, they are all the same size.” While wearing an MIT shirt at the gym, he was once asked “Do you know anyone who went to MIT?” “Yes,” Bernie replied. “My classmates.”

Bernie was a first-rate storyteller. If you knew Bernie, you knew a man with an unparalleled love for storytelling. Stories were his gift to family and friends. If you never had the pleasure of listening and learning from him, below is a moment that NPR captured between him and my father.

All this made social distancing exceedingly difficult. As a way of making up for the disruption in his social life, starting in March, my family spoke every night at 7PM on a Zoom call. Always an advocate for punctuality, Bernie would sign on at 6:55. Without fail, he checked in on every person on the call, taking an interest in their daily activities and guiding the conversation. But last week, for the first time in four months, we knew Bernie was not going to be on the call. My dad looked at me and said “7 is going to be tough.”

Bernie was a beautiful person. He will be missed and loved by many. less

“Amnesty Days:” One Father’s Made-Up Day of Forgiveness

Vickie and Michael Feldstein came to StoryCorps with their father, Bernie, to reflect on a tradition, called Amnesty Day, that he created to deal with the mischief they got into as children.

storycorps.org

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